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What to do?
I work with one of those people that likes to touch when passing. It was at first shoulder, then stomach. Just a quick stomach pat/smack... HEY!... when your arms are up in the air (to make you flinch type of thing). The past few days have been a chest pat. "I" see my body changing so it is most likely others do too. The "pat" has gotten softer and feels more like a "touch" or "feel". I feel 100% comfortable where I work for the time being as it is getting colder so I can bulk up on my clothing and have done so by wearing a long sleeve shirt over my normal short sleeve shirts and my uniforn shirt over both. I "sag" my pants a little so my butt isn't so pronounced and looks droopy, or flat. Basically I wear my pants right around where my butt starts to round outward to help flatten the look.
If he does it again I will say something but this guy is also my "mentor" showing me the ropes of the job and has a lot of experience and has been there for 20+ years. I have to be stern but delicate on this matter. I need the job, I need his wisdom, just NOT his "touch".
I'm not the type of person to go to a lawyer and DO NOT want to get the guy in trouble.
There was recent lay-offs and I KNOW he was 1 of the reasons (aside from my work, ability, experience) that I was able to keep my job.
People who have been there longer were laid off in favor of me?
~Jenny
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It's not WHAT you say but HOW you say it that will make all the difference. Have you ever heard a third party to a conversation say, "awkward" from the corner of their mouth when something too personal is mentioned? It's kinda funny but gets the point across. Perhaps in a similar fashion, you could say, "Dude! Boundaries???" the next time he touches you. If you can make it funny ...but a little serious, I think it would be a win, win.
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If I'm able to catch it, I'll just smack his hand out of the way.. and just "dude, fuck off". He's just slick as hell at catching me. And my boob growth already makes me overly sensitive to an type of touch. If I wasn't feminizing I wouldn't care.... It would just be a normal "make you flinch" game amongst men.
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Are you able to keep some kind of open drink in your hand? If saying something to him about it doesn't stop him, any time you're near him, have that drink in your hand. When he goes for one of his touchy feely bouts, accidentally on purpose spill the drink on him when you go to flinch. Start out with water, or 7up, Sprite, ginger ale, something that isn't hot or will stain. If you can spill something sticky (like some kind of pop) on his head/hair, all the better. If he gets wet a few times from HIS action, he may start to think again about doing it! If not, go to things that might stain: cola, grape, cherry, orange, root beer (on second thought, don't waste the root beer!) orange juice, grape juice, milk, chocolate milk, tomato juice/sauce, etc.. If it continues after he gets that spilled on him, step it up to tea, coffee or hot chocolate. Start with spilling any of those on his clothes. If he STILL doesn't get it, use at least any of those in their WARM, NOT HOT, state over his head, especially the hot chocolate! You DON'T want to burn him!! Maybe use a piece of cake or pie to "hit" him with.
Otherwise, do you have someone in HR (human resources) to go to about it? It's their job to deal with this sort of thing. They SHOULD be able to put it more delicately, but to the pint than you might be able to.
And, turnabout is fair play!
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He did it again today (twice). The first time we were walking together chatting (talking shit after a smoke break) and and laughing about something, he went for a "nip-grab" maybe a "titty twister" type of thing, I blocked him with my elbow, we kept laughing and I "walked-it-off" and went to work.
The next time I was insanely bent over while working on something and he touched both "love handles" in passing, not a grab/sqeeze, but a poke on either side. By instinct (Martial Arts training) I almost kicked him in the face. Luckily I missed because he would be broken and I would be unemployed.
I talked to my immediate boss and asked to be moved to a different area so "I could have more room to work". He agreed that I need more space due to my work ethic and production level.
I also started to ask for help/info/tips from other people that I work with even though he is my mentor. I told him I may be moving to a different area and his face changed. The guy in me wants to beat him retarded.... the chick in me is bitchin' on the internet.
The "LIBRA" in me, if you're into astrology (I'm not, but I get it). I always weigh my options.
If this fool persists he's going to meet the darker (man) side of my persona. I'm very polite and friendly and repectful to everyone I interact with. I portray a MAN while at work (well, as much as I can anyway). Just a friendly, easy going guy.... Always willing to help and accomodate... I don't want to hurt anyone, but I am VERY capable of shoving his head up his own ass.
I KNOW (some) people can (and probably do) see what is "happening" with me. So far, no bullshit issues. My body is getting smaller, thinner, weaker, but I still get my work done. "Blind-eye"? Who knows?
Some things I used to "man-handle" I now I have to ask for help with... It sucks becoming weaker but it helps knowing most of the guys I work with are willing to help.
I only fear telling them the reason. Will I still have a job? How will they feel? I love what I do. How do you tell a whole group of men... "Hey, um, by the way, I'm a female in the wrong body"?
~Confused Jenny~
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It suddenly strikes me that there's another thing you might try. If you've ever seen The Monkees, you'll have possibly noticed that in several episodes someone will do something that Mike doesn't like and he just simply, calmly, staunchly(?) says, "Don't do that." Worth a try.
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Miss... funny.... thank you
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(12-11-2013, 03:57 AM)JennyGenesis Wrote: Miss... funny.... thank you
No problem!! :-)
If that doesn't work, you can always say, "Lookie here, you, I like you as a friend, but I DON'T like it when you do that and if you continue to do so, I will take great pleasure in re-arranging your face, Mr. Potatohead!"
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[quote= "Lookie here, you, I like you as a friend, but I DON'T like it when you do that and if you continue to do so, I will take great pleasure in re-arranging your face, Mr. Potatohead!"
[/quote]
There are people there that I could "maybe" consider friends, he is NOT one of them. He is just a slightly helpful work person. I have been asking for help from others to avoid re-arranging his potato. LOL!
