[PattiJT]

CK,
Perhaps it would, maybe later. At this time and place, it was geared for this particular thread and this particular person. I feel I have made a good-faith effort to jolt him into the real world, and the sources provided in these sites should supply him with enough information to realize the vast positive and negative consequences of his decision. But, this info is still only info, and any real movement toward his objectives will only begin when he makes his choice and actually gets the ball rolling with real, live people. And, what he can find at these sites will better prepare him to explain himself to the people he will need to help him. And maybe explain him to himself.

None of this is meant to try to discourage him, only to inform. What he proposes to do with his life is far, far beyond the realm of video games. It is something that he will continue to have to deal with for the entire remainder of his/her life. That's generally not something that is easily comprehended by someone of his age. My guess would be that he will need to seek a therapist to determine if he is even transsexual. That being said, he has no time to waste. If he is truly transsexual, the early processes are involved and time-consuming. Additionally, more time will be spent just getting his parents to understand and accept, before any of the other things can be started.

As for how much of the info on these sites applies to the majority of the male members here, that is hard to discern. Honestly, I don't think that very many of us are going to take the time to read much of it. Even though there is a wealth of info that applies to all of us, whether we use herbs or drugs, whether we have a "little bit of GID", or are TG, or TS. Straight up, I will tell everyone how I feel about that. I think, that if you are in here, (and not just reading for entertainment), and are actively attempting to "modify, alter, or enhance" your physical or mental appearance to be more female, then you need to re-evaluate your admitted position. Call yourself what you will, but the average well-adjusted male individual just doesn't go around harboring a desire to grow breasts. Every damned one of us should probably be in therapy. I understand the worries, "mucho embarrassment, and dire personal consequences will result"!! Doesn't change the fact that we are still "different". So, we do what we do, either in secret, or with the approval of wives, but even then, it usually stays out of the public eye. Why?? Because we totally know that it's not "normal". Get over it. Just a little case of GID? Says who? Says we. Because we think it makes us more comfortable that we're low on the scale, just a "little abnormal" and not really transsexed?? And just why does that matter?? Nobody in here has more than a digital relationship with anyone else, so if you can't be honest in here, then why bother? If you feel that much guilt about what you are that you can't admit to total strangers just how you feel, then, well, I just don't know. Is it possible that some of us won't own up to our trans feelings because this is an "NBE" site, and we would be looked down on because we're more than just another red-blooded male that simply wants to have his own personal pair of "tits" to carry around? Sure, "I take it only for the mental benefits". That's like saying "I only buy Playboy to read the stories". Just be honest with yourself. And with the rest of us. I don't recall seeing anything in this site that said "transsexuals not welcome". In some respects, maybe "that young kid" is farther along and more honest about just who he is, than a lot of us "more mature" individuals are. So, "kid" if you're a real person, and being honest with us here, then I have to sort of salute your willingness to share your situation and seek some advice. If you're just here for the fun, well, you piss me off.

Sorry, this really wasn't the place for all this, but one thing led to another. Feel free to start a poll to find out how many think Patti has lost it. Good thing this isn't "survivor" and you can't vote me off "the island". I'll withhold my vote.

[GoneGirl]

Thanks for your thought provoking words, Patti. You've hit upon some very pertinent points that deserve more discussion. I think the reason that the "Gender Identity" section was created, was to provide a place where matters such as you've raised in your post can be aired without diverging from the primary intent of this forum, namely NBE. I, for one, was very pleased to see this new 'carve out' because I agree with you that it's hard to separate the desire to have breasts from one's gender variance.

I would disagree with you though that alleviating mental anxiety associated with one's gender confusion is an excuse for taking estrogenic herbs, when the real motivation is to grow breasts, first and foremost. Did I interpret your comment correctly? It may be the case for some, even many, but not all. The raison d'etre for this forum is precisely that, so I've always felt a bit uncomfortable bringing up gender identity matters in that context, though they're always in the forefront of my mind.

The fact is, my own gender identity variance has fucked up my life in many ways that I am only now beginning to get control over. I could, maybe, find a better venue to discuss these issues, for example one of the TS sites, but I really don't want to risk getting sucked into the maelstrom. I'm not transsexual.

In so many ways, I like the balanced attitudes of the people here at BeastNexus who seem to have found a balance between their anima and animus. That's my goal, too: Balance - a perfect integration of my split gender psyche with a society that is anything but tolerant of people like us. Girl, am I starting to ramble! And so off the original purpose of this thread. Sorry Steele.

I don't expect that a majority of the posts will swing to the "Gender Identity" sub-forum. I think those of us who experience some degree of gender dysphoria will post there. Those who are more comfortable with their gender identity, those who know who they are and what they want (i.e., bigger breasts), will gravitate to this forum.

Have any of you noticed that since taking PM and achieving some mental anxiety relief as a result, you no longer are so intent on growing breasts? I haven't gleaned that from reading posts here, but to a degree I feel that way.

CK

[SarahSchilling]

Have any of you noticed that since taking PM and achieving some mental anxiety relief as a result, you no longer are so intent on growing breasts? I haven't gleaned that from reading posts here, but to a degree I feel that way.

CK

Several other posters (bryony pops to mind) reported this. I went through that phase myself actually, but for whatever reason things kinda snowballed rather than stablized lol. I'm sure some of those people kept the balance going, though.

Anyways, while I agree with most of Patty's advice...not all fathers are created equal. Hell, I could never have told mine at 30, much less 14. He would've disowned or beaten me, no doubt. If your mom is cool, kid, stick with her and distance yourself as much as possible from Dad in the future ;p

If this kid's dad is a homophobic bigot like mine was, I would not advise ever telling the guy.....not that I disagree with the advice in general.

[GoneGirl]

...not all fathers are created equal. Hell, I could never have told mine at 30, much less 14. He would've disowned or beaten me, no doubt. If your mom is cool, kid, stick with her and distance yourself as much as possible from Dad in the future ;p

If this kid's dad is a homophobic bigot like mine was, I would not advise ever telling the guy.....not that I disagree with the advice in general.

Sarah, I see what you mean. It's impossible for any of us to give Steele more than basic rules-of-thumb advice in his situation. We don't know his family situation well enough. My only hope is that he gets some good counseling before he progresses too far into puberty. If he is trans, his life will be so much easier if he transitions as a teen. Patti's reference to the paper by Ann Lawrence, I think it was, pointed out how important it was to block puberty in children that are diagnosed transsexual. If at age 16 or older, Steele decides to stay a boy, it's not too late for him, but he can also begin HRT and grow into a passable girl, too. DIY HRT, on the other hand, is not advisable, and I hope his grandmother can convince him of that. He obviously holds his grandmother in high esteem, so I'm hopeful.

Shit, am I preaching to the choir or what?

Steele, I think responsible parents will always challenge a child's notions if they see potential trouble ahead. But, there's no reason for them is withhold professional counseling from you. It sounds like the cost of seeing a gender therapist is not going to be an obstacle for you. Ask for it.

I recommend taking a look at this site, too:

http://www.avitale.com/

Do you know you can meet with a gender therapist on-line?

CK

[PattiJT]

CK,
don't know if you misunderstood, but what I was attempting to say, was that some here explain their use of enhancement products as primarily, or solely, to ease their mental state. When the main reason, in reality, is to grow breasts, and feminize. But, to admit they want to grow breasts, to some, is just not an acceptable thing to confess. Face it, no one just wants breasts, it's usually more, and therefore to admit such, puts them in a position of admitting they are far more removed from the normality of society. I understand if you want to hide it from those close to you, but why the concern among those of us here? If you can't admit these feelings and desires to "digital acquaintances", then I don't see how you can ever really explain it to even yourself. That will not allow for self-understanding. I've seen those who say, "wow, I feel so much better about myself now with PM, too bad I might just grow boobs", then the same people will turn around and say, "turn loose the floodgates! I want all I can grow"!! Lack of consistency is ignored and accepted. If you have a position, stick with it. If you seriously don't know what you are, then say so, and don't just pick something that sounds good. Research, do some honest self-analysis, and try to figure it out, but don't just go along with the majority. And, if your position on any so-called scale evolves, by all means, let us know and explain it to us. One is not making a significant contribution to the discussion if the comments are just echoing previous comments because those previous comments were well received by the group. The conversation soon becomes stale and counterproductive, because not much new is being introduced. So, why not be honest about how you feel? Occasionally, someone is going to make a comment that seems so insignificant to them, but will cause a bunch of light bulbs to go off with other folks. That's progress. Maybe accidental progress, but still progress. And, CK, when I say you, I don't mean YOU. I'm generalizing, OK?

A GID sub-forum sounds fine, as long as it doesn't degenerate into inane unrelated babble. It's there, now, so put it to good use. If I could figure out how to move some of this there, I would, but I'm not that savvy.

To answer a question you had, I started with Pharmas, and will tell you the mental effects are largely the same. While they caused my crossdressing urges to become less intense, they did not go away. Only when I actually had breasts, was there a modification of my attitude, and that was to look at dressing less as crossdressing and more like wearing what I was meant to wear. After I developed breasts, if anything, I dress more now, and feel better about it. The guilt I used to feel before I started taking anything is gone. It's an immensely satisfying feeling to toss the silicone pads because you no longer need them. But then, I am of the TG/TS bent, and this will mean little to most of you here. I am also discovering that, without conscious effort, I am getting a little more daring, (or less caring?) about what I wear outdoors and sometimes in public. So beware, unless that's where you feel you want to go.

One last comment, for TYK, so this won't be a totally off-topic post. You can't choose your father. Good or bad, you're 14 and have to deal with him. Hopefully you'll find some help in the resources given to you that will help you approach him. None of us know him, and he may be just great, once he gets over the shock. Either way, unless one of the ladies are ready to take you in, you are a minor, and will have to live with him. Be smart and bring him into the conversation gently. Find a way to have him want to help you, and not smother you. Lots of others have done it, why not you? Best of luck, Patti

[That young kid]

I know it's rough talking to a therapist on Friday going to tell her how I feel wish me luck

[PattiJT]

I wish you luck, and let us know how it goes, OK?

[That young kid]

I will thanks patty still reading those websites (

[That young kid]

Also good news I told my dad he took it well ok that's how I got the therapist he asked if I was gay and I said Probally and we talked for 15 mins he seems very stressed round me now

[PattiJT]

It's understandable that he's stressed! Try to see his side. He feels he just lost his son!! His lineage!! And he probably wonders what the hell he did wrong to cause this! Cut him some slack, this isn't all about only you, OK? He should start to feel different gradually, and what the therapist has to say will probably affect his attitude, if he respects another professionals' opinion. It's all going to take time. A lot of time. You really do want them all on your side, so be respectful and understanding. They'll respect you more if you stay honest with them along the way, and don't BS them. Good luck.