[Missed Miss]

Is it possible to test the hypothesis that the longer you are on phyto-estrogens, the more likely you are to want to transition?
CK

I, basically, already asked that question about a month ago. Some said, maybe, some said, no.

[GoneGirl]

Is it possible to test the hypothesis that the longer you are on phyto-estrogens, the more likely you are to want to transition?
CK

I, basically, already asked that question about a month ago. Some said, maybe, some said, no.

I did a search for that, Missed, but couldn't find it. Got a link?

CK

[Missed Miss]

Is it possible to test the hypothesis that the longer you are on phyto-estrogens, the more likely you are to want to transition?
CK

I, basically, already asked that question about a month ago. Some said, maybe, some said, no.

I did a search for that, Missed, but couldn't find it. Got a link?

CK

No, I have NO idea where I wrote it. Sorry. Now that I think of it, it was more: does growing tits make you want to grow bigger ones and I think I added something about it making "you" want to transition, too.

[GoneGirl]

Is it possible to test the hypothesis that the longer you are on phyto-estrogens, the more likely you are to want to transition?
CK

I, basically, already asked that question about a month ago. Some said, maybe, some said, no.

I did a search for that, Missed, but couldn't find it. Got a link?

CK

No, I have NO idea where I wrote it. Sorry. Now that I think of it, it was more: does growing tits make you want to grow bigger ones and I think I added something about it making "you" want to transition, too.

Okay, no problem.

[Lisa Lou]

Great Poll Samantha, but answering it sucked because I had to be honest with myself that although I would love to, I know will never fully transition, the most I will ever be is a closet TG/CD, hopefully with boobs! One of the most wonderful times in my life was being part of a TG group in Atlanta years ago who socialized and supported each other. They were the whole range from CDs to post ops, but we all accepted each other and loved them for who they were.

Like most of you, my story is long and probably similar. God knows it's not money, but family, age, social status, etc. Honestly, when I look at myself, my personna, my sexuality, I am more femme than him, and consider myself a lesbian... the little fella could go, but that would never hurt my attraction to women. 25 - 30 years ago, knowing what I know now, primarily that I lived most of my adult life in denial of my true self, going to extremes to prove I was a "real man," yes, my drivers license today would say Lisa! And my God, at 6'2", slim, great legs and a nice ass (and boobs!) I would be one hot 60 year old momma! The girls would love me!

Lastly, Sarah, you crack me up! If I was your age and felt the way you do, that "little fucker" would be long gone!

Sorry for the length. I'll go back to lurking.... Thanks again Samantha!

[Jessica Leigh]

Since this poll came out I have really had a hard tie sleeping at night. I am torn between the family I love and the person I'm hiding. I really want to say 'Fuck it!' I'm going to be a woman. I know I can do it. But with two children to support I just can't risk it. Even if in truth, my wife is the real breadwinner of the household. Money is tight. She is stressed. I'm stressed.

I tried searching the web for ways to bring up the topic of Daddy wants to be a girl and found a site made up of wives whose husbands (ex's) left them and the kids. It was real discouraging. The women were so distraught and who could blame them.

This sucks. I'm so torn up inside. Baby is crying. Back to my other life.

[Samantha Rogers]

Jessica, I am so sorry things are so tough. I wish I could offer a good suggestion.
Please forgive me, as I am no counselor, but I think we sometimes have to place our own desires on hold in order to take care of the ones we love. It sucks, but it can be tolerable. And that, I believe, is what we sign on for when we commit to a marriage.
What is most important to you? You have a family that seems to depend on you. And then you have what desires and needs you have yourself.
You need to decide which is more important to you. Is it acting on your own needs, or is it taking care of your family?
Once you answer that question you will, I think, know what to do.
Sorry you are in such a bad place, sweetheart. I wish I could help more.

[Marina Kits]

Hey Jessica,
I know I'm out of place to say this but in my opinion, the honorable thing to do is to put your family first. I know, it sucks. ...It REALLY sucks! But gorging ourselves on selfish desires rarely pleases anyone and for both of us, the only guarantee is that our families would suffer. It's easy to IMAGINE things would be better for you and I after transition but in reality, there really is no certainty of that happening. Just to be brutally realistic, how likely is it that you'd be able to afford anything transition related with your own living expenses AND child support? No, I think it's best to concentrate on the good things in the life you have right now and be patient with what you want. You don't know what opportunities time will make available to you if you're patient. Perhaps over time, your wife will come around and allow more freedom to be yourself (like mine has). Maybe your kids will, for some unforeseen reason, be sympathetic to your plight when they are older and in the end, you'll be blessed with their accepted AND have great memories and relationships with them.

In the meantime, you've got friends to lean on here and shoulders to cry on as well. There's PM and minor herbs to ease the mental anguish and you can always express yourself in subtle ways by pushing the gender boundaries a little in what you wear, how you act and what you do. Hang in there friend. I'm pulling for ya.

[Missed Miss]

Since this poll came out I have really had a hard tie sleeping at night. I am torn between the family I love and the person I'm hiding. I really want to say 'Fuck it!' I'm going to be a woman. I know I can do it. But with two children to support I just can't risk it. Even if in truth, my wife is the real breadwinner of the household. Money is tight. She is stressed. I'm stressed.

I tried searching the web for ways to bring up the topic of Daddy wants to be a girl and found a site made up of wives whose husbands (ex's) left them and the kids. It was real discouraging. The women were so distraught and who could blame them.

This sucks. I'm so torn up inside. Baby is crying. Back to my other life.

Jessica,

There's at least one video on YouTube, a documentary of TG's, and one section is basically called, I have two mommies. Maybe you can look at it from that perspective instead of daddy wants to be a girl. I'm SURE that it's VERY possible (wife willing) to be who you really are at home with your wife AND the kids and still have nothing really change. Maybe you can both watch that video together and she could see what you're dealing with AND what you'd like it to be with her. (I'm assuming you don't want her to leave you and you want her to support you in this.)

[GoneGirl]

Jessica, I, too, think that you have to put the family first. But, I believe that you need to nourish your own soul, as well. I don't see how you can give your best to your wife and children if you are not functioning well, and I don't think you can be your best when you are being torn up emotionally by your gender dysphoria.

You need to find a balance. Is full transitioning really that important at this point? Are there things you can do to easy the anguish you're feeling? Would meeting with a therapist be useful to you? Is there reason to believe that your wife will work with you on this problem?

Keep looking for an alternative that will keep you in your marriage, and keep you close to your children. Your strength of character is being tested both as a man and a woman. I'm sure you can meet the challenge with the right help and understanding.

CK