[Samantha Rogers]

With you on that, Clara! It was negative 3 when I went to warm up the car this morning.
But honestly I have never been a runner. In school I was a swimmer, and for some time afterward as well. Of course, I figure those days are behind me unless I get brave enough to venture out in a two piece...heh heh. Even when I was backpacking a lot with my son, my prep involved going to local parking garages and climbing the stairs over and over again with the full pack, but not running.
Now my exercise is limited to floor routines with situps. planking, leg kicks and lunges. Trying to tone my little tummy and trying, hope against hope to build some kind of curve into my skinny little flat tush. LOL
Oh, I lost another five pounds. Heh heh...Down to 165 now. Nah nah nah

[GoneGirl]

I never bothered about losing weight as a full-time man. It's true that I don't tend to put on lots of weight, but having a bit of a belly didn't faze me.

Now, as a part-time woman, I'm thinking about my weight a lot, and trying to slim down for appearances' sake. I think my femme side is a bit vain!

Part of the problem is my wife tends to show her love for me through acts of culinary kindness, and, I, a boomer, having grown up at a time when there were starving children in China, I can't seem to avoid cleaning my plate. LOL

Anyway, in addition to aerobic exercise, I'm trying to mentally associate hunger with the realization of my feminine aspirations. Would I rather have that glazed doughnut, or have my budding breasts beat out the belly for first place finish?

Congratulations losing the five pounds, Samantha. You're looking good!

CK

[Samantha Rogers]

Hey, that mental thing is exactly how I have been doing it. Feeling hungry? Oooh good! I must be getting thinner. Positive reinforcement. After awhile you will find it takes much much less food in a serving to feel full. When we eat out now I always end up taking at least half my meal home in a box. LOL
Good luck with your program!
If you get frustrated go look at Renee Reyes again for inspiration! Tee hee

[SarahSchilling]

I can certainly identify with being concerned about my weight, but it's not a new thing, simply increased the past year I guess. I still lose out to hunger though, I can't lose any weight after gaining a bunch after quitting smoking. Well 20lbs when you weighted 115 is a bunch ;p

Anyways, I'm just going to go ahead and say that my female urges are growing stronger by the day. Now, I seem to be obsessed with going out in full-fem mode, like the kind I take pictures in lol. It's like everytime I have an urge to do something, I do it....and the urge just shifts to something more bold. It's kinda scary. I know where this ends up, which doesn't bother me...but I feel I'm not even in control of it. It's like I have some kind of subconscious transition coach that is very demanding lol. Not that it's very hard to convince myself.

Just to clarify, I'm getting no kind of sexual gratification out of this, and its not an exhibitionist thing either, as I honestly don't want the attention of other people IRL. Just some kind urge telling me to go farther and farther down the rabbithole, and the thought of doing it makes me happy.

Ah well....it's weird. Guess I'll just enjoy the ride.

[Samantha Rogers]

Sarah, I get what you are saying completely. With the clothes I wear, if someone were to remark that I look silly I would not care. And if they asked who I was trying to attract the honest answer would be no one. It isn't about anyone else.
Like you, I am not sure where or exactly why, I am going, but like you I keep upping the ante. Of course I am not wearing makeup (though I would love too) nor trying to pass (we are not all so lucky in that department as you, Sis), but in my own way I think it is the same and the envelope keeps getting bigger. I am seriously thinking sbout finally getting my ears pierced. Hee hee
But for you, baby, you and I both know where you are heading. Its a tough road but a beautiful destination. I think more than a few of us here, unable to take that road for whatever reason, experience a little of it vicariously through you (and others like you as well) That helps to soothe the pain of not being able to do it ourselves. Thanks for allowing us to tag along, Sis!

[Lisa Lou]

I was blessed with a high metabolism and good genes, so most of my life have had the opposite weight problem, trying to gain. Not so much these days, but am tweaking, purely for vanity, because I want to look good in tight jeans and an a-line skirt! I've been a size 10 historically, and think I might be pushing the limit right now.

Sarah, honey I know exactly what you are experiencing. 3 years ago, I purged totally, because I was getting more and more "adventurous." For years I was satisfied to dress at home and only go out when there was a TG function, but the urge was stronger and stronger to get all gussied up and go out alone. In small town South Carolina, where I lived at the time, that was just begging for an ass whipping and ostracization. I started by making forays to the mailbox and puttering in the back yard, then going for drives at night, going through the drive thru even when I wasn't hungry.

My therapist and I agreed at the time that it was Lisa trying to get out, be recognized, be noticed, and for Lou to say, "Yes, a part of me is female, bite me world!" I had to make a decision at the time of the impact on career, family, social status, friends, etc. So, I quit, purged, gave up NBE, a beautiful wardrobe, everything feminine...... Yet, here I am again, with Lisa emerging... where the hell is she leading me?

I think my point in all of that is to say, that if "she" is in you, you can push it down, hide it, deny it, but she is still there, lurking.

We're pulling for you Sarah.

LL

[GoneGirl]

My therapist and I agreed at the time that it was Lisa trying to get out, be recognized, be noticed, and for Lou to say, "Yes, a part of me is female, bite me world!" I had to make a decision at the time of the impact on career, family, social status, friends, etc. So, I quit, purged, gave up NBE, a beautiful wardrobe, everything feminine...... Yet, here I am again, with Lisa emerging... where the hell is she leading me?

Why is it that every time I hear a story about one's female identity being quashed, purged, and disowned, I feel like someone has died an unnatural death. Lisa, I'm happy to know that you are not dead, just another abused inner woman! That doesn't sound good, does it!?

CK

[Lisa Lou]

AH, my dear sister, CK, I am not dead, nor doth she sleep! I rejoice because I am alive!

So my sisters, another layer of the onion we call Lisa peeled back... my other masters is in theology, but have no fear, I will not attempt to proselytize anyone, I left my faith and religion among the rest of the rubble scattered throughout Iraq and Afghanistan. And although I have grown to detest Paul, here is a quote (taken completely out of context) from 2 Corinthians 6:8-10. I believe it applies to me, and perhaps many of you...

Through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

I have given myself a new nickname Lisa "The Phoenix" Lou! Out of the ashes...

Okay, way too f-ing serious, I'm back to my smartassed self.

Hugs,
The Phoenix

[SarahSchilling]

I feel like I have a lot in common with some of you, but, for me....my male half was almost completely a fabrication I developed to avoid ridicule. The female half is really me, and anything genuine in the male half originated from the female half.

So yeah....I'm on this ride without brakes as it were. Well..I guess the fear of being assaulted by rednecks is functioning as a brake....but there will be no purging lol.

Thanks for the responses. You're welcome to ride along, Samantha....and LisaLou, I see your SC and raise you rural AL. I have to drive an hour for laser, and two to see an endo that knows wtf he's doing. No exaggeration.

[Lisa Lou]

Rural AL? Poor dear. I grew up in LA, so I fully understand what you're surrounded by! Your already high stock just went up immensely! I fold! LOL

I'm with you honey, I'll just be glad when it warms up and we can put the top down!