[flamesabers]

So yeah....I'm on this ride without brakes as it were. Well..I guess the fear of being assaulted by rednecks is functioning as a brake....but there will be no purging lol.

Sarah,

I feel sad for you.

Nobody should have to fear getting beat up or worse just for being different. Is it possible you can move somewhere you wouldn't have to live with such fear?

[Samantha Rogers]

I second that, Sarah, and that thought had crossed my mind several times before. The place you mentioned for the next stage of your education... is it a location that will be less rural and potentially safer and better for you?

[SarahSchilling]

Your being sad about it is making me sad! So don't lol....

I got a couple more semesters before I can bail on this shithole. If it makes you feel any better the fear brake probably isn't strong enough to hold up that long.

I'm not positive where I'm going, but by default it'll be better than here! lol

[AnnieBL]

Sarah,

You have been a presence on this board for longer than I have been here, but recently you have blossomed with a sort of glow that comes to me at least from those who strike me as unconditionally happy with their commitment to transition, and makes us all want to root for you and hope that you will safely make your objective. That glow seems despite all of the difficulties, challenges, and dangers that face you. My only regret is that at some point along your road we may lose you here. Abi Drew had the same glow, and although I am happy for her and hope it all works out for her, I miss her too. Robin Beales who occasionally posts here is another one with a glow, and I find that just reading her posts for some reason makes me feel good

The only time I myself felt such a glow was when I brought my wife -to-be and her children to Canada in a highly irregular manner and then had the task of legalizing their status, and getting custody of the children sorted out, which was a truly hairy experience involving the so-called Buffalo shuffle moving the whole family back and forward across the Canada/US border never knowing whether you would get US visas for the next trip, or whether you would be denied admission back into Canada, and with the whole process being complicated by an incompetent lawyer in Britain and both well meaning and hostile outside interference. The friends were the most dangerous. But through it all the living right on the edge generated a glow that I can still fondly recollect and which has made my relationship with my wife very special. May your own journey also give you something very special.

Sorry, may have been laying it on a bit but that's how I feel. I should probably have been spraying all this with smilies but somehow they rarely seem to fit what I want to express.

[SarahSchilling]

Aww, thanks. What's with all the love for me around here, lately? lol

EDIT-Oh, nevermind. I guess this is the thread I went all dramatic in, so I was asking for it, in a way.

I gotta say...."spraying all this with smilies" cracked me up. I also liked "the friends were the most dangerous", although I'm not sure I understand that one!

I don't really get how a custody battle complete with immigration provides a glow. Is it like a perseverance in the face of adversity kinda glow? I guess it must be. Either that, or a "I'd have had to been there" kinda thing.

[AnnieBL]

Aww, thanks. What's with all the love for me around here, lately? lol

(I told you - its the glow )

EDIT-Oh, nevermind. I guess this is the thread I went all dramatic in, so I was asking for it, in a way.

I gotta say...."spraying all this with smilies" cracked me up. I also liked "the friends were the most dangerous", although I'm not sure I understand that one!

(Well, there was the Canadian lawyer with political connections who wanted to employ my wife-to-be, and thought he could influence the immigration process. That was nearly fatal )

I don't really get how a custody battle complete with immigration provides a glow. Is it like a perseverance in the face of adversity kinda glow? I guess it must be. Either that, or a "I'd have had to been there" kinda thing.

Yes, I knew what I had to achieve and I was going for it come what may - exhilarating as well as difficult, long drawn out and scary. In fact I was getting comments at the time that I was a different person from people who had no real idea what was going on. And I got one hell of a lift when a neighbour's wife tried quite hard (but unsuccessfully) to seduce me under the kitchen sink. Nothing like that ever happened to me before (or since) - I must have been radiating some kind of aura to make me a honeypot. Oh, well, I'm probably spouting nonsense but it was the best explanation I could come up with.