Amanda...I too am soooo happy for you!!! I just started reading about your issues with your wife and shaving your legs. And then all of the thoughtfull and intelligent suggestions from the others here....Amazing and heart warming!! Then to see that your story has such a happy ending!! That's so great!!
A few years ago I began to shave my legs and will never be able to live with hairy legs again. My wife at the time was so upset and for months and months she couldn't look at them or touch them. I was thrilled with how they looked and felt and I wanted nothing more then to rub my smoothe legs next to hers, but she refused for so long. Even though she has known about my cross dressing for 25 years and accepted it for the last 15. She thought that shaving my legs meant that I was one step closer to having a sex change. So her refusal to accept me again pushed me away and we have been through some big ups and downs and major transitions in our relationship over the past couple of years. Some crazy stuff!
But eventually she has accepted me completely again! Legs and all! She says I have sexier legs than any woman she knows!
)
In fact this weekend we went to the mall and each tried on sexy dresses!! But she can be hot and cold and her moods can change drastically very quickly.
She still fears that she will lose me...either I will turn gay or want a sex change someday. I admit I cannot be a aggressive "real man" for her...which she needs in the bed room. But with 2 children ...even though they are in their 20s now... I cant imagine there will ever be a day that I could transition. and being 6'-4'' doesnt help either!
Unfortunately...I am really confused these days. I have currently been on a herbal program and I'm very depressed. I do have slight swelling in my breasts but I'm beginning to lose my sex drive and my erections are very weak and short lived. I really dont know how much further I should go at this point. I have almost become addicted to the herbs....the process. Obsessed...to the point that I cannot focus on anything else and I have given up some very important interests in my life.
My experiences over the past 25 years of marriage have been rocky...up and down. Always , with time , we have reached a new level of respect for each other. I ask myself why it must always be such a struggle to reach this new higher ground? I just dont know. I guess we all have a big fear of the unknown.
This past weekend we had a 3 hour condensed version of our entire marriage. We went from the lowest lows where it seemed like we would have to end our relationship, to the highest highs where we realized we would never find a better partner for each other. Well, this went back and forth , up and down like this for hours until I finally begged for mercy that we finally stop talking! And we ended up in a very loving way.
...but I still feel quite lost.
Debating my next move. Another bottle of PM...or take a cold turkey break for awhile?
Best of luck to everyone ...and Clara and Samantha and everyone... thank you for all of your wonderful words of wisdom!
xo
KristenM
