[Samantha Rogers]

Mothers. We all had one, obviously. In other threads we have from time to time discussed mothers, but only in the context of what changes in our individual development may have come about in part because of chemical imbalances which existed in our mothers while we were in the womb.
I propose we take things a step further, just for conversation' sake.
I would expect that everyone now knows what Freud wrote about boys and their mothers. In America, so many men have found themselves so terrified of being accused of having an Oedipal complex that great pains have been taken by them to show that they are not "sissies" who love their mothers. I think there is a lot of denial.

Let's see...
Well, here is a question, since this is a board where we share our secrets. Who among us believes their relationship with their mother may have something to do with their crossdressing and feminizing, and/or desire to grow breasts?
I have some thoughts on this but would like to hear some other comments before sharing my own. Who's first ... ?

[Robbin]

That is a great question that is some what open ended.
I think it has a lot to do with not so much mothers but fathers also . How we are tought about sex that is how we later that effects are sexually.
That is in some cases but not all. Everybody loves there mother and would do anything for her. Are experiences is what drives are outcome not are mothers alone.
With are feelings for change and growth. In a way we are like a flower that opens up and shows everybody how beautiful they are . Mothers are a reflection of are own beauty.

Robbin

[flamesabers]

Well, here is a question, since this is a board where we share our secrets. Who. among us believes their relationship with their mother may have somethin to do with their crossdressing and feminizing.
I have some thoughts on this but would like to hear some other comments before sharing my own. Who's first ... ?

To be honest, I don't think my mom had an active role with my crossdressing or feminizing. If anything, I would say she played a more indirect role of not trying to encourage me to engage in masculine pursuits or dissuade me from partaking in feminine activities. She recognized I was a sensitive and quiet child, and she didn't want to push me to be someone I was not. When my mom finally found out about my crossdressing, I was already an adult and not living at home. She doesn't condemn me from being a crossdresser, but I think it's something she would rather keep out of sight and out of mind.

The one female relative who I would say had an influence with me being feminine was my sister. For instance, I don't remember how it happened, but somehow my sister got me to wear one of her frilly rainbow dresses when I was a small child. I didn't like how she teased me for wearing a dress, but it's otherwise a special memory for me.

[PattiJT]

Define sissies. Negatively? Positively? Who here would resent being referred to as being one? And Why?

[Pansy-Mae]

Everybody loves there mother and would do anything for her.

Sorry, not true!

[Samantha Rogers]

This might become interesting...
Patti, the quotation marks were to indicate the word as used as an extremely negative and stereotypical description of an effeminate male, by a society which has historically viewed effeminate men with great disdain, as you are aware I am certain, just as I am aware of its other connotations especially for members of this board. I used the word wishing only to reinforce the concept of negative hateful stereotypes held by society at large, within the context of this discussion since those stereotypical attitudes and descriptives are so much to do with what drives people into closeted secret lives full of pain. Brutish attitudes may, no often are, responsible as well for preventing an honest appraisal of psychological relationships with parents...especially mothers.

If one begins to question a bio male about mothers, well...we are digging into some pretty deep and murky, primordial material, with layers of obfuscation created to avoid dealing with truths. Many people, as was mentioned recently I believe in a thread by Clara, will adopt "over the top" stereotypical male attributes in order to avoid being seen as weak or, horror of horrors, possibly gay. (Pardon my sarcasm) This is such a common phenomenon that the behavior has become a staple of comedy routines. And, it is the same, I would think, for boys in terms of discussing their mothers. I am hoping, I suppose to gain insights into my own past, but also to suggest an opportunity for others to do the same. I would suggest this topic is not for the feint of heart nor for those who are afraid to peek truthfully into what motivates them.
And, quite right, Patti, not everyone does or did, love their mother, not by a long shot. But that, my dear, is often where the rubber meets the road.

[Lisa Lou]

Mothers.....
Let's see...
Well, here is a question, since this is a board where we share our secrets. Who among us believes their relationship with their mother may have something to do with their crossdressing and feminizing, and/or desire to grow breasts?

Oh no you didn't..... My response will have to wait until tomorrow, as I have to go to work in 2 hours........

Great thought Sammie. I think I will hate you today!

XO,
L

[Samantha Rogers]

Mothers.....
Let's see...
Well, here is a question, since this is a board where we share our secrets. Who among us believes their relationship with their mother may have something to do with their crossdressing and feminizing, and/or desire to grow breasts?

Oh no you didn't..... My response will have to wait until tomorrow, as I have to go to work in 2 hours........

Great thought Sammie. I think I will hate you today!

XO,
L

Ooooh, Lisa Lou, don't hate me, honey...not today at least...tee hee...not today of all days...wish you were here!

[GoneGirl]

My mother was the strong type. Ran the household, managed the finances, raised the kids. She was someone I looked up to. My father was the breadwinner, steady and reliable. He was someone I looked up to.

They had a rocky marriage, however. I dare say they hated each other.

Did my mother, in that context, affect my feminine gender leanings? Maybe, but I doubt it. I believe her influence on my gender identity all happened in the womb. Post birth, who can say to what extent?

Clara

[Miranda-nata-est]

Hum, not sure.

I had a real problem with my Dad, for many years - nothing to do with sex or anything like that - we always ahd a 'cool' but Ok relationship..

I was bought up on a 250 acre farm from day one until I was 8. I remember clearly the day I was told we were selling up and moving - I remember clearly as if it were yesterday , days and nights in absolute despair, crying just wanting it not to be true - even then, the only life I ever wanted was to follow on in that farm - for God's sake I had been driving a tractor by myself since 4 and had first driven a combine harvester (MH 726) during the summer of that last year.

I have always, always, until recently when Dad died, blamed my folks and Dad in particular for the fact I could never afford to pursue the one career I always wanted (and still hanker after even now at the upper side of 55). I think I have forgiven them - but who can truly be sure of ones underlying feelings?

I actually had a very liberated and self fulfilling childhood from that point on - I had very little to do with my genetic parents, but latched on, at two different periods in my pre university years, to two different but completely different adult role models, both in the farming world and both of whom trusted me big time with highly expensive and complicated machinery way before I was legally allowed.

Yet, on reflection, my mum was, and is at 82, the strong one so perhaps she was more the decision maker in all this and maybe the one who gave me the freedom I so needed at the time - maybe that is why I feel free now to experiment with all this..


I guess it all reverts to the perennial argument - environment verses genetics - I don’t perceive anything in my genetic past which would have made me receptive to the changes which I now seem to be embracing but neither do I really see that the difficulties of my youth, which subsequently gave me a tremendous appreciation of different lifestyles the cause for the self identity issues I now face....



This has been serious reflection out loud and subsequent wittering ....... sorry - I didn't have enough sense to hit 'Delete' this time!!


M x