11-01-2014, 10:16 PM
... so B. confused and lost ..........
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11-01-2014, 10:45 PM
(11-01-2014, 10:16 PM)davidb Wrote: ... so B. confused and lost ..........
David,
I don't know if this will help, but here's a piece from Jack Molay's Crossdreamers blog: "Is there a cure for autogynephilia?"
http://www.crossdreamers.com/2012/12/is-...hilia.html
If you accept that there has never been a documented cure for this condition, it can make it easier to accept it. It did for me.
CK
12-01-2014, 04:01 AM
I hear you.
Try using a timer to limit your time. But my therapist believes this site is good for people like us. This is a place to be open with your thoughts and feelings with a fear of rejection.
It is my biggest regret that I can't be 100% honest with my wife. Don't get me wrong, she knows of my GID. But I have never been able to tell her that if I had her blessing I would probably transition. But I barely have permission to wear clear nail polish, never mind female clothing. She is my rock and I don't know what I would do without her.
Keep reading, keep posting.
Sincerely,
Try using a timer to limit your time. But my therapist believes this site is good for people like us. This is a place to be open with your thoughts and feelings with a fear of rejection.
It is my biggest regret that I can't be 100% honest with my wife. Don't get me wrong, she knows of my GID. But I have never been able to tell her that if I had her blessing I would probably transition. But I barely have permission to wear clear nail polish, never mind female clothing. She is my rock and I don't know what I would do without her.
Keep reading, keep posting.
Sincerely,
12-01-2014, 06:02 PM
I gave up on trying to giving up along with trying to answer the question "Why?" I came to the conclusion it is what it is and its never going away.... so accept it a fact and move forward.... life got a lot better mentally and a lot prettier... lol
12-01-2014, 06:09 PM
I've only recently started accepting it and decided to see where it leads me. Because of this the past few weeks have been much better on myself and others close to me. We are all different, but I'm sure given time you will make the decision that is best for you and your situation.
As Golus posted, keep researching, keep posting and hang in there!
As Golus posted, keep researching, keep posting and hang in there!
12-01-2014, 09:44 PM
Hi Davidb,
Just wondering how your doing?, we're all concerned for you....
Just wondering how your doing?, we're all concerned for you....
16-01-2014, 10:35 PM
(This post was last modified: 17-01-2014, 12:33 AM by Miranda-nata-est.)
Lotus and all....
Thanks for the replies and good wishes.
I have to admit the original post was sent in a moment of 'Vin Triste' as the French might say - it was a very abbreviated outcome of a long and detailed somewhat self critical and self pitying discourse which I had written but had enough sense to delete rather than send!!!
I am an analytical type, engineering oriented and, at one time, a pretty good computer technical programmer... this makes it difficult to just accept - 'There's something strange going on around here, who we gunna call.... Breast Nexus'.
I am still alpha male, really cherish male identity stuff, unlike many here, want to enhance rather than decrease male prowess - yet, and here is the big but, I love the growing boobs and the fact that I now have more erogenous zones and can experience new and previously unknown highs.
I guess I am just greedy and want the best of both worlds - I want the new experiences of this world which is opening up but I am certain I cannot ditch the pleasures of the male world I know.
Thus it is that I am torn.
Whilst all the male bits are working as well as ever, I guess I will just keep playing around with the new found female traits - but what happens if/when the male prowess begins to fail me?
Very confused - that I am!!!!!
Thanks for the concern - I am OK really, on the whole - sorry if I drop in every now and then with some seemingly stupid comments - I am still trying to get my head around all this
Cheers
David
Edited this bit on as no-one has yet responded......
The other slight issue I have is that it is so easy in the mind to assume one is going to develop a 'young persons' body... a lot of us here seem to be a bit older than 21 - me, I am mid 50s. I think I am incorrectly assuming that NBE will give me the breasts and figure of a twenty, thirty year old female as they are all new and shining. Presumably, I should really accept that if I continue down this path I will have to deal with an ageing 60 year old female body and the problems associated with that outcome?
Thanks for the replies and good wishes.
I have to admit the original post was sent in a moment of 'Vin Triste' as the French might say - it was a very abbreviated outcome of a long and detailed somewhat self critical and self pitying discourse which I had written but had enough sense to delete rather than send!!!
I am an analytical type, engineering oriented and, at one time, a pretty good computer technical programmer... this makes it difficult to just accept - 'There's something strange going on around here, who we gunna call.... Breast Nexus'.
I am still alpha male, really cherish male identity stuff, unlike many here, want to enhance rather than decrease male prowess - yet, and here is the big but, I love the growing boobs and the fact that I now have more erogenous zones and can experience new and previously unknown highs.
I guess I am just greedy and want the best of both worlds - I want the new experiences of this world which is opening up but I am certain I cannot ditch the pleasures of the male world I know.
Thus it is that I am torn.
Whilst all the male bits are working as well as ever, I guess I will just keep playing around with the new found female traits - but what happens if/when the male prowess begins to fail me?
Very confused - that I am!!!!!
Thanks for the concern - I am OK really, on the whole - sorry if I drop in every now and then with some seemingly stupid comments - I am still trying to get my head around all this
Cheers
David
Edited this bit on as no-one has yet responded......
The other slight issue I have is that it is so easy in the mind to assume one is going to develop a 'young persons' body... a lot of us here seem to be a bit older than 21 - me, I am mid 50s. I think I am incorrectly assuming that NBE will give me the breasts and figure of a twenty, thirty year old female as they are all new and shining. Presumably, I should really accept that if I continue down this path I will have to deal with an ageing 60 year old female body and the problems associated with that outcome?
David, you are thinking this through, and that's good.
After 3 months on PM, I'm thinking about taking a reality break to reaffirm my goals or chart a new course with the benefit of the experience I've gained so far. Maybe some of the conclusions I've settled on will be of help to you and others new to NBE.
I'm older than you with a physical appearance to prove it. But, as is probably true for you and others, my internal concept of myself is of a much younger person, and I have a tendency to mix up my self-image with reality. That can lead me astray at times. I tell myself to keep NBE in perspective, but it's hard.
I've come to the conclusion that my external projection isn't as important as how I see myself internally; but if revealing my female identity, through behaviors or appearance, a little or a lot, enhances my peace of mind, I feel it's worth the risk. It's easier now that I've become more or less insulated from the opinions of others, which happens as one establishes a certain amount of financial security. I also have the support of my wife, the one person whose opinion I do respect.
Like you, I identify as a man most of the time, but I also enjoy expressing my feminine side whenever I can. It's easy to switch back to male mode at any time when the situation calls for it. It's like eating my cake and having it too, with one caveat: breast growth does kind of throw a monkey wrench into the picture. How do you hide those girls when in man mode? Why is having breasts so important to me?
The thing is, I learned that having breasts makes being a part-time woman seem more real for me. It isn't about proving anything to the world or trying to create the woman of my fantasies. It's about freeing a part of my psyche which has long been suppressed.
Your confusion may stem from trying to resolve your mixed gender identity one way or the other. Am I correct? How can one be both a man and a woman?
I've come to believe that it's possible to be bi-gender. The problem boils down to deciding when, where, and how each gender role can be expressed. Those boundaries may change over time, but only if I'm comfortable with the changes, and there should be no confusion or apprehension if and when the time comes, even if I decide to transition full time. It can be a very gradual process if you want it to be.
If any of this makes sense and is helpful to you, I'm gratified. Good luck working through your issues.
CK
After 3 months on PM, I'm thinking about taking a reality break to reaffirm my goals or chart a new course with the benefit of the experience I've gained so far. Maybe some of the conclusions I've settled on will be of help to you and others new to NBE.
I'm older than you with a physical appearance to prove it. But, as is probably true for you and others, my internal concept of myself is of a much younger person, and I have a tendency to mix up my self-image with reality. That can lead me astray at times. I tell myself to keep NBE in perspective, but it's hard.
I've come to the conclusion that my external projection isn't as important as how I see myself internally; but if revealing my female identity, through behaviors or appearance, a little or a lot, enhances my peace of mind, I feel it's worth the risk. It's easier now that I've become more or less insulated from the opinions of others, which happens as one establishes a certain amount of financial security. I also have the support of my wife, the one person whose opinion I do respect.
Like you, I identify as a man most of the time, but I also enjoy expressing my feminine side whenever I can. It's easy to switch back to male mode at any time when the situation calls for it. It's like eating my cake and having it too, with one caveat: breast growth does kind of throw a monkey wrench into the picture. How do you hide those girls when in man mode? Why is having breasts so important to me?
The thing is, I learned that having breasts makes being a part-time woman seem more real for me. It isn't about proving anything to the world or trying to create the woman of my fantasies. It's about freeing a part of my psyche which has long been suppressed.
Your confusion may stem from trying to resolve your mixed gender identity one way or the other. Am I correct? How can one be both a man and a woman?
I've come to believe that it's possible to be bi-gender. The problem boils down to deciding when, where, and how each gender role can be expressed. Those boundaries may change over time, but only if I'm comfortable with the changes, and there should be no confusion or apprehension if and when the time comes, even if I decide to transition full time. It can be a very gradual process if you want it to be.
If any of this makes sense and is helpful to you, I'm gratified. Good luck working through your issues.
CK
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