I think I mentioned that I started a diet the first part of April because I was getting disgusted with how I look. I'm 6' tall and weigh(ed) 200 pounds with the characteristic ring around my abdomen and mildly bulging belly. I've been working on growing breasts for a little over a year and there is some growth but I realized, slimming my mid section would be a huge step towards looking more feminine ...so began the journey. Today, I've lost 20 pounds and a couple inches around my belt line. Judging by the bulk that's been lost, I suspect I'll have to lose another 20 (stopping at 160) before I have the slim middle I'm shooting for. I'm not sure if it's the hormones or the weight loss but other things such as the size of my arms and wrists and some facial features seem more feminine to me as well. My hair is about an inch over my ears now and below my shoulders in back. I'm happy with the progress so far on many fronts. But the thing that has set my fingers to typing is something that happened the other day while at Home Depot. Up until a month ago, being 6' 200 lbs made me a pretty average dude. But with each pound I lose, tens of thousands of guys become bigger than me. Suddenly, walking out to my vehicle, a strange feeling of inferiority came over me. No the emotional kind of inferiority but the physical kind. I'm getting smaller and perhaps a little weaker compared to other guys and thus becoming more and more like the females by comparison. I'm thinking I just got an inkling for what it's like to be female. It was the strangest, most unexpected revelation I've had for quite a while. Quite enjoyable also.

I've had the same experience repeatedly over the past couple of months. I haven't lost as much weight as you, but I started at a lower weight to begin with. It's not just a physical size thing either. My female gender identity is more out front than at any time in my life. Clara is becoming an inextricable part of who I am in everyday life even when presenting male which I do 95% of the time. I do feel more vulnerable than I've felt before by allowing my anima more freedom of expression. My male side is still ever-present, though, and ready to take command when the need arises. It's a strange mixture of male and female gender that is quite remarkable.

Clara

Kari,

I've gotten the same revelation numerous times during my teen years. During one of my dreams that I was a female, I took careful note of how small and feminine my hands and arms were. It dawned on me that if I was ever in an abusive relationship or got into a physical altercation of some kind, I most likely won't be able to defend myself.

In the real world, one of my roommates in college was much taller and bigger than me. Whenever I was near him I felt like I was a short and small person. This realization didn't make me feel intimidated, rather it made me think about how most females probably feel when they're around me. If the vast majority of males were 6'3"+ and weighed 220+ lbs maybe it would be easier for you and me to pass as female?

Karl, you just described what has made me feel awkward around most other guys my entire life.

not that I'm weak, but I've never had/been able to get any of the usual male upper body muscle bulk, I am stronger than I look but still not as strong as most others

not that I'm weak, but I've never had/been able to get any of the usual male upper body muscle bulk, I am stronger than I look but still not as strong as most others

Lenneth,

For whatever reason, your statement reminded me of the arm wrestling I did as a child with the other boys. If I recall correctly, most of the matches ended in a stalemate.

As far as bulking up, I'm not sure how successful I would be in that endeavor, pre-NBE or now. Drinking protein shakes and being a gym rat has never been an interest for me. I can understand wanting to bulk up if it's a vital trait for your line of work or something, but working out just to get bragging rights or to impress someone is unfathomable to me.

Having never had bulk nor physical strength I don't know what this is like. I have been 160cm(5'2") all my adult life, and currently 60kg(132lbs) it was usual for the others to be taller, and considerably bulkier

It did remind me of something I'd read somewhere "Only a fool is weak in body and mind".

What is it like to be on an equal playing field?

Having never had bulk nor physical strength I don't know what this is like. I have been 160cm(5'2") all my adult life, and currently 60kg(132lbs) it was usual for the others to be taller, and considerably bulkier

It did remind me of something I'd read somewhere "Only a fool is weak in body and mind".

What is it like to be on an equal playing field?

I had kind of the opposite experience, Groundmoss. I was always tall, more so than just about everyone around me, but very thin and not particularly strong. As a result, though, I found myself with insecurities, because I always felt like I stuck out. I used to slouch something awful when I was younger, and I always felt inadequate because my upper body seemed so narrow in comparison to my hips. Never liked the way I looked in the mirror at all, because I wanted so badly to look more "normal" and thus fit in better. I guess the grass is always greener.
Ironically, when I began finally to give in and dress fully I found the exact opposite was true, and those very same attributes that I had felt weakened my self esteem as a male became an asset when presenting as a female. But then, after discovering this wonderful thing, I hit middle age and began to gain weight, but in all the wrong places. Sigh. I was then faced with the opposite problem. I began to look bad when dressed...sigh and double sigh. Lol
A few years ago I deliberately began to try to shed pounds and get back to where I had been before. Now I am where I was, in terms of weight at least, when I was about 18, and I couldn't be happier, since I no longer care how I look in drab. But, the height thing now presents an entirely new problem because it makes me very self conscious about passing in public. Not too many GGs are six three barefoot, you know? So, whatever success I may have in appearance are tempered by the knowledge that I will always stick out and that blending is near impossible.
I find myself exceedingly jealous of those of smaller stature, like youself. The grass is, indeed, always greener, huh?
Lol

Hugs

I've known a few GGs who were very tall. They were all self-conscious of their height, as well. Wearing high heels was out, as it only made matters worse for them. It's not really a matter of being mistaken for other than the women they were. It was a matter of not wanting to stick out, to blend in, to conform. It comes down to attitude. My daughter, who is better than average in height for a woman, would prefer to be taller. She likes to be noticed for her stature. Being 6' wouldn't bother her a bit. Since you can't change your height, it comes down to changing your attitude about being tall.

Sammie, you present really well as a woman in every way. Being 6'-3" is certainly going to attract attention to you. But, so what? I bet there are many T-girls that would die to trade places with you. Be proud of your appearance including height. Learn to welcome the turned heads and the admiring stares. You've accomplished the 'disappearing male' act in a way that few can match.

Clara

P.S. As I prepare for the SCC, I've learned that of the more troublesome aspects of maleness that give us gurls away, our voices are the most telling. A multitude of appearance sins can be wiped away with a convincing female sounding voice. Most of us have the potential to develop a good female voice with training and loads of practice. Even in guy mode, a female voice can get you 'ma'amed'.

Hi Kari, I am not overweight ..... Just under tall.

At 5ft 8inches and weighing 173 lbs makes it hard to shift at my old age. Jeans and slacks are fine as I can wear UK 12/14, BUT when it comes to dresses or tops I stand out with size UK 18 which places me on the large girl size because of my shoulders!

I sincerely envy those guys who have a svelte framework even if you are tall ! I can always stand behind you and turn slightly sideways

Love
Heather X

P.S. As I prepare for the SCC, I've learned that of the more troublesome aspects of maleness that give us gurls away, our voices are the most telling. A multitude of appearance sins can be wiped away with a convincing female sounding voice. Most of us have the potential to develop a good female voice with training and loads of practice. Even in guy mode, a female voice can get you 'ma'amed'.

Clara, have you been practicing? If so what sort of success have you achieved and are there any tips to pass on?

Love
Heather X