[Big dreamer]

I have been a member on here for almost a year and not a day goes by that I don't read the posts. I have to say there are some amazing people and information on here. For myself there is nothing I would like more than to grow breasts and be more womanly. I have wanted this since I was 5 years old. I can remember vividly trying on my mother's bras in secret and not knowing why I loves it so much.
But for me I have to be real, I am 59 and the thought of going through everything I would have to, to get there makes me cringe.
There have been many posts on here that get me excited about moving forward and at the same time posts that snap me back to "What are you doing".
Have I done anything as far as nbe? Yes, I have. I have not gone hard core but over the last year I have used suction and have had a good regimen of fenugreek. To be honest I didn't expect much however I have increased in size. I thought I did but I wasn't sure untill my wife said, hey you got something going on here as she put her hands on them. Then we were out with another couple and they took some pictures of us and sure enough there is something going on. So this brings me to the name of my post. Fence Boobs I call them. They don't really look male but not quite female either. They are on the fence not going either way. In fact once and a while I may catch someone glancing and they have a confused look on their face like they are trying to multiply some really big numbers in their head.
I am surprised it happened because I never felt any soreness. I am going to move forward slowly and try some PM though and see what developes. Pun intended.
I am however being cautious. I am not ready to give up what the boys down below offer. Although it doesn't work as well as it used too, he Is still my friend. In fact people are blessed with certain things and I was one that was given a little extra down there and I hate to see him go away, we have been friends a long time. If he ever does I am going to have a funeral for him.
Being older doesn't make it easier either. I know many on here are my age and older. Having male pattern baldness is a real exciting thing to deal with especially when you would like hair to transform yourself. The way it is now what ever hair falls out, lands on a different part of your body and grows there.

[JMT]

I think a lot of us started with fenugreek. I did, and I had the same result. It added some bulk to the breasts, and seemed to help with fat redistribution and softer skin. But it didn't trigger any breast buds. That happened shortly after starting on PM. Once you hit that point you'll have the actual breast tissue for life, though it takes years to grow. You'll likely experience some brain re-wiring on PM also. If you were to stop taking anything right now, odds are pretty high you'd revert back to whatever you had before.

[GoneGirl]

Hey, Big, welcome. You should be a stand up comedian. You had me rolling on the floor laughing.

My question to you is: Are you gender dysphoric? Are you experiencing mental distress, anxiety, depression? Are there some other behaviors that have you concerned, like anger, OCD, etc.?

If not, I'd forget the PM and growing boobs. Why open that can of worms? It's only going to complicate your life in myriad ways!

If so, then I suggest doing a trial with PM to see what mental changes occur. If you shed the mental dissonance, it might mean that you are transgender. In which case, the only treatment is to nurture it to the extent necessary.

Another possibility is that your wanting boobs is a sexual fetish. That's a whole nother matter....

Clara

[athena23]

(long reply)

Big Dreamer: I have similar concerns and continue to wonder if I can have my male presentation and grow and enjoy small breasts, especially because my wife is against me revealing my transgenderism to anyone outside of our relationship. This makes sense because I just started a new company, still have a son and daughter at home in high school and my wife being a early years teacher has concerns about the impact on her career.

Background: I have been a crossdresser since my teens, I came out to my wife about 10 years ago (now 52) and only came out to myself and to my wife again as "transgendered" not just a crossdresser recently. Although most of my growth/fat accumulation has been unplanned (5 years plus of saw palmetto) and long time marijuana user.

This realization that I am transgendered or a crossdreamer hit me like a ton of bricks and I have been obsessed with NBE over the past 6 weeks. As I mentioned in other threads, I had a rough time of it with post-vasectomy chronic pain for over 8 years which resulted in 3 scrotal surgeries in the last 2 1/2 years. Final result is that I had one testicle removed two years ago and had a vasectomy reversal one year ago next month. Thankfully the pain is resolved and I feel great except that I have given up cycling which I still mourn the loss of.

I recently started massages which made a big difference and added (on purpose) FG and Red Clover and almost immediately noticed the increase in volume and the soreness/tingling was intense. My supportive wife gave me her blessing to enjoy what I have as long as I had not purposely planned the growth. Which was true at the time when I brought up my breast growth to her. But That said, I just finished a month trial on FG, RC and I doubled my SP to 1000mg. Now, I'm taking a break from the FG and RC to see what happens but have kept the SP and the massages. Which feel good because my breasts had gotten very sore. I have had more growth on the left but being right handed I am more muscular on the right.

It is the fear of the unknown that gives me pause. Also on another note, I can't figure out how many of the gals here and on other TG forums can underdress wearing bras without someone commenting or noticing.

[athena23]

Came clean to my wife tonight about my recent NBE exploration and it felt good to tell all. She is ok with the massaging but is against additional herbal enhancement. She made a comment and I think is true, that I use her a mirror when I ready to confront my own feelings and behaviors. Things are still ok between us. Modeled my sports bras I picked up and I hope I can keep my promise to be honest and open with my feelings wherever this journey takes me.