As the title says, I'm within moments of giving up all hope of ever transitioning. Nothing works on me but PM and that has become even more overpriced and sketchy these days.
My endo had me taking injected estradiol and spiro for quite some time, but the only effect I got out of it was extreme depression. My T levels refused to drop enough for a long time and when it finally did, my E was too low and left me without enough of ANY hormones. Even after seeing the results on paper, he still refused to raise my E dose.
I stopped taking everything and noticed right away that my mood went back to normal. It was quite disheartening. For the past year now I've been forcing myself to play man again and just push it all to the back burner. It's really starting to affect my mental well being. I'm constantly feeling out of place and extremely dysphoric. There's a woman in there screaming out but remaining unheard, with a sad man guarding the door.
I was feeling curious one day and decided to play around with camera filters and photo editing software. I cried for three hours straight after seeing what I COULD look like, but can't. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.
My endo had me taking injected estradiol and spiro for quite some time, but the only effect I got out of it was extreme depression. My T levels refused to drop enough for a long time and when it finally did, my E was too low and left me without enough of ANY hormones. Even after seeing the results on paper, he still refused to raise my E dose.
I stopped taking everything and noticed right away that my mood went back to normal. It was quite disheartening. For the past year now I've been forcing myself to play man again and just push it all to the back burner. It's really starting to affect my mental well being. I'm constantly feeling out of place and extremely dysphoric. There's a woman in there screaming out but remaining unheard, with a sad man guarding the door.
I was feeling curious one day and decided to play around with camera filters and photo editing software. I cried for three hours straight after seeing what I COULD look like, but can't. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.
How much E were you taking? And did you discuss the reason why he wouldn't raise it for you?
(28-06-2019, 10:59 PM)GamerGurl Wrote: I was up to .5ml of injected depo-estradiol once weekly, and still no effects. He refused to raise it higher because I am a smoker. No I am not yet ready to quit, sorry but current stress levels don't allow me to.
Hmmm. Smoking and my previous heart attack is why I was started on transdermal patches.. For me, it took about 3 months...... then things started to happen, like re budding, areola and nipple growth etc. Maybe you should suggest transdermal to your doctor. It is afterall the safest form of HRT.
Sorry to here you tuff time and frustration.
Just for the hell of it have you maybe thought about trying some Progesterone Cream? Maybe not that your E dominant, but maybe the P will not only help your depression but help to reduce T and give you deeper better sleep at night.
You will get some glandular growth too. It is maybe worth looking into. Made a huge diff for me after 8 months on PM it was like wow I feel so much better and went back to 1 Vs 2 PM a day and it made my booty round out nice and thighs in about 6 weeks and breast are growing more on the outsides and top now too.
PS Sometimes maybe a good amount of great quaality green tea which will help with detox and also can help to lower T when E is present.
Lastly have you have a recent blood work up to see your levels.
Positive vibes coming your way. Dont give up yet
Just for the hell of it have you maybe thought about trying some Progesterone Cream? Maybe not that your E dominant, but maybe the P will not only help your depression but help to reduce T and give you deeper better sleep at night.
You will get some glandular growth too. It is maybe worth looking into. Made a huge diff for me after 8 months on PM it was like wow I feel so much better and went back to 1 Vs 2 PM a day and it made my booty round out nice and thighs in about 6 weeks and breast are growing more on the outsides and top now too.
PS Sometimes maybe a good amount of great quaality green tea which will help with detox and also can help to lower T when E is present.
Lastly have you have a recent blood work up to see your levels.
Positive vibes coming your way. Dont give up yet
(28-06-2019, 10:59 PM)GamerGurl Wrote: I was up to .5ml of injected depo-estradiol once weekly, and still no effects. He refused to raise it higher because I am a smoker. No I am not yet ready to quit, sorry but current stress levels don't allow me to.
You'd really rather quit HRT than quit smoking?
I'm not saying it's not hard, but smoking makes E less effective.
No one else is saying it, but that is your choice, smoking or the woman in the picture.
Sorry to see your having this problem.
Can you expand on your hormones ?
How much spiro are you taking ?
.5ml is fine as a unit of measurment, but it does not indicate the levels of your injection.
As an example : my estrogen is 20mg at 1ml injection,
every two weeks.
As I refuse to take it once every 14 days, I split my injection up into 3.5 days. I inject .25ml so this equates to 5mg.
It is worth keeping in mind, at 7 days your estrogen levels maybe almost non existent by day 7.
If you inject every 3.5 days, your still coming down off your peak and your level is still considerably higher.
The higher your lowest estrogen levels are, the better chance you have of shutting off your testosterone.
Secondly, playing around with filters and pictures are going to give you an unrealistic idea of how you may look.
Can you expand on your hormones ?
How much spiro are you taking ?
.5ml is fine as a unit of measurment, but it does not indicate the levels of your injection.
As an example : my estrogen is 20mg at 1ml injection,
every two weeks.
As I refuse to take it once every 14 days, I split my injection up into 3.5 days. I inject .25ml so this equates to 5mg.
It is worth keeping in mind, at 7 days your estrogen levels maybe almost non existent by day 7.
If you inject every 3.5 days, your still coming down off your peak and your level is still considerably higher.
The higher your lowest estrogen levels are, the better chance you have of shutting off your testosterone.
Secondly, playing around with filters and pictures are going to give you an unrealistic idea of how you may look.
Great info and tips Janet, also there are patches too that are less hard just like the smoking patches. If we can take it easier on the liver etc sometimes trans-dermal is a way to go. I have a few trans friends that are on patches and are doing great on their transition. I sure pray for gamergirl. Dont give up now, you have come to far babe!
There has to be a work around like Janet states, lots of common sense, many doc lake that too right.
There has to be a work around like Janet states, lots of common sense, many doc lake that too right.
I know I'm setting myself up for disappointment if I pay too much attention to edited photos. It's just being able to see myself like that brought out some deep feelings.
Progesterone is one of those things that my endocrinologist said is a "useless thing for transgenders, but something only a biological female needs" I'm not fully trusting of him either, so I could be easily swayed if given some info.
Progesterone is one of those things that my endocrinologist said is a "useless thing for transgenders, but something only a biological female needs" I'm not fully trusting of him either, so I could be easily swayed if given some info.
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