Everyone seems to have a childhood memory and story about how they've always wanted to be a girl... a 'girlie girl' who always knew what he/she wanted.  Not so with me... I was who I was.

in school I did what I wanted,was a swimmer, in theatre, in band, hung out with guys, fell for a few of them but nothing came of that.
 I wasn't gay or a closet cross dresser. Hell, I never even tried those things  was just who I was. I have always thought it was perfectly OK and natural to love another guy. What do I know?!

No abuse by family members, no gay awakenings, no exploring things... until I became an adult and was married. Then, things changed!



You?

Well as the saying goes a deep subject.

Most everyone of us on this forum are normal, just ask, it’s the world that’s screwed up.  I feel I’m normal just the people outside of this forum have a problem.

My mother took a drug called DES when she was pregnant with me. DES is a strong synthetic estrogen that is supposed to prevent miscarriage. I think that drug may have affected me. I always wanted to be a girl but that wasn't allowed so I buried it deep. Yet it kept coming out and sometimes in my dreams. I crossdressed on and off, then would purge my things. I have finally realized that I am transgender. I feel more complete and at peace admitting that.

I'm a D.E.S. Grandbaby, and this is a very real phenomenon. It's a wonder no doctor back then said, Hmmm. Maybe pumping a pregnant woman's womb full of estrogen might not be a good idea. It's also a wonder how people today question the explosion of LGBT in the last many decades and then scoff when presented with this blatant evidence.

I had strong transgender desires as a child and several homosexual experiences as a boy and teen, too. Combined with that, I had a mother who deserted us as a child, raised by a loving grandmother, then a cold a strict stepmother and I desperately craved the companionship and love from a woman. It used to drive my Dad absolutely bonkers that I wanted to "go as a girl" on Halloween every single year lol.

Whenever that was frequently absent in my life, I dove head first into homosexual affairs, one night stands etc. Yet always falling head over heels in love with the first girl that smiled at me, which would obviously scare them off and the circle would repeat itself.

NO ONE I KNOW can even remotely understand these effects when I describe what DES did to me, except other DES Grand / Babies.

Kay, this is a HUGE website that might offer you some thought & insight, etc.

https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/transgenerational-effects/

I guess this DES thing explains me and my girley thing, I was born in 1949

I'm a D.E.S. Grandbaby, and this is a very real phenomenon.
.....
Kay, this is a HUGE website that might offer you some thought & insight, etc.

https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/transgenerational-effects/

WOW, That stuff causes epigenetic changes, which means they are even inherited from generation to generation!
I wonder how may other medicines and even "safe" food additives cause similar changes.
At least it seems that nowadays doctors are a bit more careful with medicines given to pregnant women.

A bit like you kylec, I am who I am, but in a different way.
As a kid I never felt the desire to be a be a girl at all, but when I discovered girls at the age of 10 and I became fascinated with the choice of clothing they have compared to the boring boy stuff. 
This mainly stemmed from one of the girls in my village who we used to all play together. You never could predict what she'd be wearing - one day jeans and t-shirt like the boys, then it could be a skirt/dress/shorts/dungarees or a very girly summer dress with bows in her pigtails. 
This awakening found me secretly browsing the catalogues we had at home (pre-t'internet LOL) and trying to match girls stuff with boys stuff to make outfits that I wanted to try on.
Then by complete fluke I wore I ended up wearing her jeans, t-shirt, sandals (long story for another time) My mam realised the jeans were the best fitting jeans I'd ever worn, so bought me girls jeans from there on.
As I grew up and through my adult years I've just naturally added and mixed more women's wear into my wardrobe.
So am I a crossdresser? Yes, I have thought that and have tried quite a few times to look en-femme, but however hard I try I just see in the mirror a stupid looking bloke in a dress, wig, make up. I come back to the same conclusion - presenting as a woman does nothing for me. Now that said and for transparency, I do crossdress en-femme on the rare occasion when I go to a TV sauna party, which over the years I've been to say 6/7 times. It's fun to get attention from everyone and even more fun now I have (cough) breasts LOL but at the end there is very little desire to do it again.
I have my B-cup breasts and now targeting a more whole body fem shape I still am who I am.

I'm a D.E.S. Grandbaby, and this is a very real phenomenon.
.....
Kay, this is a HUGE website that might offer you some thought & insight, etc.

https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/transgenerational-effects/

WOW, That stuff causes epigenetic changes, which means they are even inherited from generation to generation!
I wonder how may other medicines and even "safe" food additives cause similar changes.
At least it seems that nowadays doctors are a bit more careful with medicines given to pregnant women.

Stevenator and Teddy,
Thank you for the link and info. It's nice to know that I am not alone.

When I was a child, I was very emotionally sensitive, nurturing and empathetic. My bothers were tough guys. I was constantly criticized for being too sensitive, different and not tough enough. I tried to compensate by lifting weights and playing sports. I thought if I could build huge muscles my family would finally accept me and I could lose the feeling of being wrong, defective, broken. I never felt accepted by them and I never lost those feelings. Many decades later, I am still trying to lose that toxic shame. I am trying to accept myself and I feel more complete as a woman. The herbs that I take have played a huge role in my spirit and soul.
 Kay

I have been wondering about what seems like a the massive increase in boys and girls willing and able to change sexes during the past few years.  Perhaps that generation to generation effect of DES has created it.

Does anyone know how widely used DES was used in the years between 1940 and 1971 when the hormone treatment was being done.

What percentage of pregnant women received DES.