Hi Palichuck, a lot of your thoughts and questions sound very familiar to me.
I too am married and we have a 7 years old boy. I started toying with PM and NBE when my wife was pregnant. Actually, just before she got pregnant. We had to use IVF so I could count on the doctors to do some part of the work regardless of my level of fertility. IVF was mostly for my wife's issues, not for mine. Even if I had played with PM for a few months, my sperm count (after a 2 month break from PM) was perfectly fine.
Fast forward... by the time my son was 4 years old, I managed to grow enough boobs to fill a B cup. My boobs did, and still do, look like moobs because they are wide apart and on a wide chest (due to years of swimming), but that didn't stop my son from pointing them out and flicking them (it's hard to explain limits to a 4 years old kid). That made me very self conscious: what would happen in the future? How would he see me if I grow larger boobs? The question comes around every year when we have to go to the seaside for our holiday: what would he think? What would our family and friends think? We see my wife's family every 18 months, would they notice the change and think it's weird?
So far it has been almost 8 years since I started toying with NBE, and in the last 12 months I have definitely gained a lot in terms of mass. I remain a chubby guy, not obese, so some extra flesh on my chest has to be expected, but my left nipple is moving the the upturned position that you would expect on boobs and not moobs. In short: they could be noticeable if anyone knew that I am not the stereotypical "cis straight manly chubby guy". I look just chubby until you find out that I've been crossdressing on/off for most of my life, if you know what I mean.
Regarding how your family and child will see this in the future, I can only share my thoughts about crossdressing: my child is more important than my crossdressing. As much as I love to push the boundaries and throw the odd piece of female clothing in my everyday mix (all my lounge/payjama pants are women's and I used them even if the neighbours come for a beer), I would never want to cause embarrassment to my child or, worse, be the cause of bullying "because your dad is weird". I play, and rather enjoy, the part of the "tough" guy in my everyday life, and keep my fetish crossdressing feminization side for a more private time. My wife knows that I like to crossdress (well, there are 50 boxes of high heels and 4 huge boxes of women's clothes i nthe house that don't belong to her...) , and for as long as the kid was very young I was even wearing sport bras and ballerina shoes around the house, but that all came to an end when we realised that our kid could remember, compare, and ask questions or talk about it to his friends. If your child has yet to be born, you'll have a couple of years of "free for all" time, but then you'll have to take a decision about whether to tune things down or go all-in and present yourself in a completely different light to society (CD? Trans? Queer? Hippie?). If you really plan to remain in the "males staying males" camp after growing boobs, keep in mind that up until a B cup it's almost OK to go topless to the pool and at the beach (taking your child to swim is a very good thing, family bonding time and important moment to teach some skills). From a round C cup upwards... things may get awkward if you are skinny. Look around and judge how many men in your area have naturally occurring boobs due to fat, age, gynecomastia ecc... every place is different. It's more common than we assume, but not everywhere.
So, to your questions:
1) When you stop supplements, most changes revert unless you have been on supplements for decades. Lower-body changes, skin texture, mood... they will almost certainly go back to normal. You will also notice a decrease in breast size. Assuming you are lucky enough to get to a B cup in just one year, if you then stop it will revert to a more modest A cup (that on a male's chest is usually almost invisible).
2) I think many around here would say the same about how easy it is to stop. I have personally stopped for good and decided never to do NBE again! Like, I am super sure of it, and I was super sure of it each and every one of the 5 times I've said it and stopped in the past 7 years. Right now I can fill a D cup after some pumping and I am sure I don't need more. So I won't restart. OK, I have 150 caps of PM that I will maybe use in September after the seaside holiday, you know, so they don't go to waste. And I may just look into getting one bottle of E gel or two... But yeah, I've stopped... I mean, just a bit more won't make a huge difference, right?
3) My function is back with a vengeance. When you stop all supplements you really feel the testosterone raging. I go from pure apathy when taking PM to full-on everyday horniness when taking breaks. You must make sure to control your instinct. I realised that a week after stopping, more or less as long as it takes for the phytoestrogens to leave the body and the testosterone to come back, I behave like a total dick. I hate myself for how snappy and arrogant I am. I need to make sure, every time, to double check everything I say. At least I know when it's coming. It's a bit like being a teenager again for a few weeks, with huge mood swings.
And, do you go back to being who you were? Personally I am sliglthly less confident than I was before, and it's mostly a physical self-consciousness. 10 years ago I would go to any pool party, take any chance for a quick holiday with friends to the seaside, etc... now I feel like I always hold back whenever I would have to get topless. It doesn't happen every day, but I feel the change. I have a friend's birthday party in 10 days, on the beach. I am not dreading the moment, but I am not as relaxed as I was 10 years ago. Also, my t-shirts tent a lot on my chest: I started choosing my clothes more carefully and I slouch a bit more sometimes to make sure that the tenting is not so obvious.
4) I described the situation with the kid above. I am not sure if I'll ever talk to my kid about this as I would have to disclose the whole crossdressing thing. I don't NEED to show the world my boobs, so it's unlikely that I'll ever walk out of the house wearing a deep neck low-cut top to show my cleavage. If one day he asks, I'll just say that I am chubby and I have gynecomastia. I only hope that he'll ask before any of his friends say anything.
Sorry for the very long reply. I tried to be as open and accurate as possible so you can have a taste of things to come.
This post was last modified: 12-07-2024, 11:42 AM by Shirazmn.