I’m turning 25 in a little over 2 weeks. I have been dealing with differing degrees of gender dysphoria for the entirety of my adolescence and adulthood thus far. I really only became consciously aware of this dissonance a little under 6 years ago, but it has continued to worsen and I have had immense difficulty processing and coping with it. After coming out to my Mom as non-binary 3 years ago (a conversation that didn’t quite go how I wanted or expected) and moving out of my parents house, I have made a great effort to come to terms with my gender. I am now at a bit of a crossroads, and one road in particular is basically screaming at me to take it.
I have known about HRT for years. I don’t quite know when exactly I started taking the idea seriously, but nearly everything about it is appealing to me. I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty details of that here, but long story short I started taking 1000 mg of Carlyle pueraria mirifica daily starting on February 3rd. Last Tuesday night I decided to try Swanson ovarian glandular. Same deal at first, just one dose daily, but that only lasted for 2 days. The last 3 days I have taken one in the morning and one in the evening.
Yeah I am like 98% sure I am a woman. Estrogen is hitting me like a fucking truck. I can finally see a ray of light shining through the dark clouds that have made up my entire existence. I’m realizing that I have been suffocating in testosterone for the last 13 or so years. Words can hardly describe what I have been going through the last few days, but with this newfound clarity has also come a great deal of anxiety and fears that I am still struggling with. I got whacked with the most intense wave of bottom dysphoria a few days ago, and now I’m uncomfortable getting erections, which seem to be happening more than I’d like. It’s safe to say I will eventually be on some kind of prescribed HRT, but I am still just terrified to truly commit and make the appointment.
This DIY experiment was intended to be a stepping stone towards that, I did not expect this stuff to smack me in the face like it has. Granted the one thing I am realizing I didn’t mention yet is that I have been taking various DHT blockers off and on over the last few years to help stop my hair from falling out (something which I have had trouble even admitting until recently because of how much it hurt me to say). At some point in the last couple weeks I tried white peony which I have been taking almost every day. I’m a little anxious about my hormones being all out of wack even though I now know I need estrogen. The hypochondriac in me is saying that I shouldn’t be doing this with something like ovarian glandular or herbs in general. I would like to do this in a safe way that feels a bit more official but I am curious about what some of you have to say about my experience. I’m finally ready to do this so any words of encouragement or advise are also both welcome and appreciated.
Thank you
I have known about HRT for years. I don’t quite know when exactly I started taking the idea seriously, but nearly everything about it is appealing to me. I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty details of that here, but long story short I started taking 1000 mg of Carlyle pueraria mirifica daily starting on February 3rd. Last Tuesday night I decided to try Swanson ovarian glandular. Same deal at first, just one dose daily, but that only lasted for 2 days. The last 3 days I have taken one in the morning and one in the evening.
Yeah I am like 98% sure I am a woman. Estrogen is hitting me like a fucking truck. I can finally see a ray of light shining through the dark clouds that have made up my entire existence. I’m realizing that I have been suffocating in testosterone for the last 13 or so years. Words can hardly describe what I have been going through the last few days, but with this newfound clarity has also come a great deal of anxiety and fears that I am still struggling with. I got whacked with the most intense wave of bottom dysphoria a few days ago, and now I’m uncomfortable getting erections, which seem to be happening more than I’d like. It’s safe to say I will eventually be on some kind of prescribed HRT, but I am still just terrified to truly commit and make the appointment.
This DIY experiment was intended to be a stepping stone towards that, I did not expect this stuff to smack me in the face like it has. Granted the one thing I am realizing I didn’t mention yet is that I have been taking various DHT blockers off and on over the last few years to help stop my hair from falling out (something which I have had trouble even admitting until recently because of how much it hurt me to say). At some point in the last couple weeks I tried white peony which I have been taking almost every day. I’m a little anxious about my hormones being all out of wack even though I now know I need estrogen. The hypochondriac in me is saying that I shouldn’t be doing this with something like ovarian glandular or herbs in general. I would like to do this in a safe way that feels a bit more official but I am curious about what some of you have to say about my experience. I’m finally ready to do this so any words of encouragement or advise are also both welcome and appreciated.
Thank you
