[karen]

Hi everyone .... I'm new here.

This one may get a little complicated so please bear with me.

I am currently taking a product called "testim" It is a testosterone therapy medication. It comes in small tubes that you apply to your chest and upper arms daily. I started taking it becuase I was feeling tired all of the time with next to no sex drive. My Testosterone levels were tested to be in the upper 100's/lower 200's ... which is very low.

Well since I started using testim I'm feeling much better. I have lots more energy and my sex drive is returning.

Over the years I've experimented with cross dressing .... and now that I'm using testim for some strange reason my desires are getting stronger. The thing that make things crazier still my nipples have started to get harder and puffier even though my Estrogen and Testosterone levels are normal (600-700). I have become more conscious of my nipples and find myself feeling them lots of time during the day and I actually am starting to have a desire to have woman’s breasts.

I took that COGIATI Test …. I scored a 120 and it said that I had one foot in being male and 1 foot in being female. Crazy as it may seem, that’s how I feel. I kinda would like to be both … being whichever I felt like being at the time.

What I would like to do is to try and grow small woman’s breasts. I would like to start taking PM but I don’t know how it will interact with the testim, what kind of emotional changes I will be going through, or anything like that.

Like I said, this is going to be complicated …. Any help or insight would be greatly appreciated.

[Isabelle]

Hi Karen,

Cross dressing and nipples are normal parts of a male sexuality. Maybe not every man likes cross dressing, but still.

Put off body modification as long as you are on testim. Most people in the middle don't have a strong sex drive. So maybe you are being medicated now for something that is a normal part of your sexual identity.

I went to a psychoanalyst first. We've been chipping away for 10 years now, but I'm still happy I did that. You see, depending on where your feeling of being both a man and a woman comes from, it may be more logical to treat your sex drive with a progestin. And as long as you take testim, a therapist is going to have a hard time finding out what is bedrock brain layout and what is caused by your upbringing.

Just my 2 cents. There are more experienced people around who will undoubtedly add theirs, after some serious thinking.

[karen]

Hi ... me agin

I've been reading all day. I found this from "Chrissiegirl"

It has a huge effect on mood, initially making one calmer
One becomes more emotional.
My tolerance and empathy have hugely increase; while feelings of irritation, anger and a need to be in control have waned hugely

All of these traits are HIGHLY Desirable to me


There more I read the more I'd like to try PM. I was thinking of 500mg twice per day ... using the creme, and spray .... and seeing how I react to it slowly. Will that approach help the feminization mentally .... I'm thinking ANY breast growth will be extremely slow if at all .... I'm thinking I can always increase it later

Karen



I'm 64 years old and this is fine with me .... I actually think I would get along with my wife better if I ws more like her

[chrissie]

The dose, you propose, is a very low dose and may not be enough to initate changes, although, should be enough to maintain changes, once they have begun. Please bear in mind, that you have no control over the precise effects PM will have over you; that is down to your genetic make up. Femanising your mind goes hand in hand, with femanising the appearance of your body and some of those changes are irreversable. Please take care, PM is powerfull stuff. I was taken as post op, by a nurse, with experience of transsexuals, because of the extent of the changes, brought about by PM.

[Pansy-Mae]

My gut feeling is to not take anything that would potentially react with the Testim.

I would also agree with Chrissie's warnings, although I would add that the mental effects that she reports are not necessarily going to affect you. They may well do but it isn't a foregone conclusion, we are all different and react differently and there is absolutely no way of predicting those reactions.

[karen]

Thanks everyone .....

I'm going to sit back and keep reading. I have to say that I am not committed to becoming a woman .... at least not full time.

There was a question on the COGIATI Test .... something about being able to switch back and forth between man and woman whenever you wanted .... that sounded like a great idea to me.

My primary goal was to turn my "overweight" man boobs into small woman breasts that would make me feel more like a woman when I wanted too but also be "hideable" when I wanted to be a man. I have been "pumping my nipples" allot lately. It has made them larger and more erect and I am very much more aware of them. Mine already do point outwards. I've really been liking it. And I think it has started to bring out wanting to be more like a woman at times.

Guess we'll see where all this goes. It does make sense NOT TO start taking anything that may end up changing something permanently that I then realize I don't want changed.

Chrissie ... I was looking for your post about a man fitting a bra. I found a couple of pieces but I don't think I found the complete post. Can you by chance point me to it?

Thanks girls ... HUGS

[sfem]

I don't know anything about Testim, but I would think it makes sense that if you want to re-evaluate the direction you want to go, then your first step should be to stop any medications (herbal or otherwise) that would colour your thinking. At least then you'll be making decisions for yourself, not from a bottle or tube.

Also if your testosterone levels are naturally low, then I would suggest that the dosage you mentioned is a great place to start. 1000mg a day was all it took for me. I know there are others who need higher dosages, some because they may simpler need more, some because they are impatient, and some because they were told they needed to by people who cannot know how much any individual actually needs (nobody is to read their name into this comment, I have just seen it lots of times on this forum and others). Andy and other regular contributors have said several times that the best plan is to start slowly and increase if needed over time. I personally strongly agree with that. For me, "over time" means stay with the starting dosage for at least 3 months. If nothing else, it allows you to mentally adjust and make changes to your plans if your thinking on it changes. There is lots of anecdotal evidence in the forum to help you decide how to proceed.

Best of luck with whatever your choose to do, I hope the results of your choices bring you happiness. We are all of us strange and complicated...

[karen]

Testim basically returns low testosterone in males back to their normal levels. My tested levels before using testim was in the high 100's and low 200's .... way low for my age group. I was feeling very tired and lifeless all of the time .... even deperessed. Since I have been using the testim I'm not tired anymore, have ambition to do things and all around feeling good about life.

So "I think" what I would be going through is pretty similar to a male with normal testosterone levels would be going through. I even have the advantage of being able to cut back on the testim little by little, see how I feel, as I use various herbs/etc and possibly have one less road block to deal with.

I do have to say ... this is the "complicated" part of it .... I don't think anyone in my life would be open to any of this .... any results that I achieved would have to be explainable ..... either a "side effect of the testim" which it is in some cases .... being a little over weight .... etc

I'd love it if my breasts were really only noticable to me (or explainable at least) and felt different to me ... soreness/sensivity/fullness would be REAL NICE .... and I could keep them that way.

I'm very glad that I found this place. I am finally able to let out some of the things that I have been feeling.

Hugs .... Karen


SFEM .... is your avatar a picture of youself? I've been reading about you in several threads and if I am reading it correctly you don't have a desire to be a woman .... but you wanted to have breasts. Well if the avatar IS a picture of you let me tell you that they are "in my eyes" perfect. But I'm sure thinking that they would be hard to hide as a "man". What is it like in your life? What have you had to deal with? If I'm not being too nosey and abrupt. If I am, I apologize.

Hugs Again .... Karen

[chrissie]

my post on bra fit was 28th Nov. last year. Loook up chrissiegirl and follow my threads.
Remember that oestrogen and the lack of it, has a huge effect on the well being of women. I have read that taking oestrogen is diagnostic of transsexualism. Transsexuals respond well to it. others react badly and do not like the stuff. Should you decide to try PM, I would not mix it with testim. Then you can judge whish hormone best suits you.
Be aware that, even a large A cup is very notiseable and a B cup is the most common size for British women, as it was for American women, until the recent epidemic of obesity.

[karen]

Found it Chrissie .... Thanks

Karen