16-08-2013, 08:51 AM
Miss C
Nice post
Rock on
Julie
Nice post
Rock on
Julie
(16-08-2013, 07:37 AM)MissC Wrote: Disclaimer: Don't take any of what I'm about to say as personal. I couldn't possibly knock your gender issues; I've had enough of my own. I've got them sorted now, though, so as someone older than yourself who's been through it, let me present a few realities I've come to accept.
(16-08-2013, 07:37 AM)MissC Wrote: I'm not, never have been, and never will be, a woman. I will never have the bone structure, the reproductive equipment, the life experience from birth. No amount of drugs or plastic surgery will ever change that. Ever.
Secondarily to that, I've discovered that I wouldn't want to be, anyway. But that's entirely beside the point.
(16-08-2013, 07:37 AM)MissC Wrote: I'm not an ordinary testosterone-fueled football-watching meathead guy who thinks with his junk. So where does that leave me? Not a "man" in the common vernacular... and not a woman. What else is there?
I now know the answer to that question: In between. A tranny. Ladyboy. Shemale. Two-spirit. Whatever. And I'm fine with that. As far as I'm concerned, it makes me a rare and special human being, not a freak. That's my attitude, and anyone who doesn't like it can pound sand. Being bi doesn't hurt either, but that's neither here nor there.
(16-08-2013, 07:37 AM)MissC Wrote: Now here are a few contradictions floating around in TS-blogland that are so incredible that I'm reminded of the White Queen who could believe six impossible things before breakfast each morning:
(16-08-2013, 07:37 AM)MissC Wrote: GID is and is not a mental illness -- It depends on the day, apparently. TS activists have screamed for years to get Gender Identity Disorder taken out of the DSM, because there's a stigma attached to mental illness. Ah, but then, since it's not a real disease, insurance won't pay for it! A conundrum indeed.
(16-08-2013, 07:37 AM)MissC Wrote: Sex/gender is in the mind, not the body -- Many theories on this are bandied about for the purpose of proving that someone born obviously male in form can have a female brain, and thus be a collection of feminine neurons somehow placed in the wrong body. This is a crock of shit either way you look at it:
First, the very proponents of this theory suggest that the solution is to change the body. Well, you really can't. You can perform some cosmetic changes, of course -- some facial rearrangement, breast implants, cutting off your penis and sewing it back inside-out... but it's just cosmetic, isn't it?
(16-08-2013, 07:37 AM)MissC Wrote: Aha, so now we're forced to defend the notion that we can cure mental illness with plastic surgery.
(16-08-2013, 07:37 AM)MissC Wrote: On the other hand, if someone has the temerity to suggest that it's easier to change the mind than the body, they are shouted down by the TS Nazi-ettes. No!! You can't change the mind! Crazy Talk!
Well, Nazi-ettes... I did it. And it didn't cost me a dime. No shrinks. No doctors. They talk of accepting who you are. You need to do more than accept. You need to live to your unique potential.
(16-08-2013, 07:37 AM)MissC Wrote: The mind can do amazing things. You write like a bright individual; I'm certain you can teach yourself to do things with your mind that your peers cannot understand. What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve. Ever heard that?
There's the old saw about having the power to change the things you can, the serenity to accept the things you can't, and the wisdom to know the difference. I will tell you this: no one has ever been happy wanting things they can't possibly obtain.
(16-08-2013, 08:51 AM)julieTG Wrote: Miss C
Nice post
Rock on
Julie
(16-08-2013, 05:55 PM)AbiDrew85 Wrote: My life experience from birth, in a nutshell, is of a girl who walled herself off from the world and herself incredibly deeply in order to protect herself from a world who insists she's a boy.
(16-08-2013, 05:55 PM)AbiDrew85 Wrote: OK... Let's see what these contradictions are. I'm suspecting most of them are only your failure of understanding.
(16-08-2013, 05:55 PM)AbiDrew85 Wrote: Uhm. Not exactly. Yes. We're saying that our gender's aren't a mental illness, but we're not saying it isn't a "real" medical problem. Thing is, it's not a medical DISEASE, but a medical BIRTH DEFECT.
(16-08-2013, 05:55 PM)AbiDrew85 Wrote: When medical science comes up with a way to correct me truly and completely, with home-grown female bits grown from my own cell cultures, I'll be signing up to be a test subject.
(16-08-2013, 05:55 PM)AbiDrew85 Wrote: No. No we're not. I'm not mentally ill. And there's nothing to cure. My BODY needs CORRECTED. I never EVER once said I need someone to "cure" anything did I?
(16-08-2013, 05:55 PM)AbiDrew85 Wrote: No. You didn't "change" your mind. You came to accept yourself for the way you are. I've come to accept who I am a long time ago. Unfortunately for me, that's not the end of it but merely the beginning.
(16-08-2013, 05:55 PM)AbiDrew85 Wrote: That said... You are right though... The mind CAN be reprogrammed. But is it the right thing to do? Especially when all you're really doing is forcing someone to be who they're not
(16-08-2013, 05:55 PM)AbiDrew85 Wrote: And thus we get to the crux of things. You're right. I will never be entirely happy in this life.
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: Okay, you had a dysfunctional childhood. Welcome to Earth. Thing is, you are now an adult, and you are entitled to tell anyone you are whatever you want to be. If you wish to live as a girl, you may. It's a free country, or so they say. My parents wouldn't let me be a girl either. I couldn't even have hair past my ears.
They said I could do what I wanted when I grew up, though... so I did. I don't hate them for it; children need some direction in life, and I happen to think my parents were better than most. They just didn't really know what to do with a kid like me.
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: Yes, that's pretty much what I said. I cannot understand how you can believe some of this nonsense. I do fail to understand. Damn my logical brain.
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: Oh, I was hoping you'd bring this up. A birth defect! Being born male is a birth defect! That makes as much sense as saying that being born black or Chinese is a birth defect. Maybe it is... maybe that's the explanation for Uncle Toms -- they're white people born into the wrong color body! Do you not see the absurdity of this line of thinking?
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: Birth defects are a broad category. They can be something simple and easily treatable, like harelip. Or at the other end, we have stuff like Down's Syndrome. No one would argue that Down's is a correctable birth defect.
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: While I'm having fun with stretching the limits of conclusion, I could suggest that mentally retarded children should have their birth defects treated with brain transplants... or in your world, we could surgically "correct" their bodies to be mangled and useless like their brains?
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: Poppycock, you say.
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: That would be interesting... and as a nerd myself, I do love watching the progress of science. It still wouldn't change your DNA or your chromosomes though, so you still wouldn't be "corrected completely".
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: So it's like alcoholism, then, wherein it is thought that someone who hasn't touched a drink in 20 years is still an alcoholic? No cure?
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: Well, if SRS isn't a cure, then why bother? The point is, it is a medical fact that you can't make a genetic woman out of a genetic man. There won't be anything "corrected", at least, not as I understand the definition of "corrected".
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: I most certainly did change it. About a lot of things, actually. I've gone from being a working drone to a business owner, and from a wallflower to a magnetic personality.
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: I won't say it's simple or easy, but it really boils down to the fact that I made decisions as to who and what I wanted to be, and then made it happen. Who are you to presume how my mind works, anyway?
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: Now you, then... I can with confidence say you have NOT come to accept who you are.
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: Your whole thing here is not about what you are, but what you are not. Or, to look from a different angle, you have accepted that you are something you are not but wish to be. Either way, your assertion makes no sense.
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: What you are, as you say, is a girl with a boy's body. That's then what you ARE, NOW.
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: But you do not accept this. How can you say you accept yourself?
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: It's as if a paraplegic were to say he accepted himself as an Olympic sprinter. Do you see the logical failure here?
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: Nowhere did I suggest force. I have changed the person I am through the force only of my own free will. I'm not going to say that coercion doesn't work -- or advertising wouldn't work like it does. It definitely works. But it's temporary. To achieve lasting results, the changee must be the changer.
Quote:if someone has the temerity to suggest that it's easier to change the mind than the body
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: In a nutshell, the process was this: I am unhappy. Why? Because I don't have x, y, z. Can I get them? Aha! I can have two of them. How do I do it? Who do I know who does? What do they do? I shall learn this! (That sounds a bit silly... but it is an analytical thought process.)
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote: But, I do not think you yet understand the power of your own mind. You feel trapped in a box, a box of desire which you have not learned to control.
(16-08-2013, 08:45 PM)MissC Wrote:(16-08-2013, 05:55 PM)AbiDrew85 Wrote: And thus we get to the crux of things. You're right. I will never be entirely happy in this life.
But you said you'd cured yourself of depression. Way to self-actualize, there.
(17-08-2013, 12:44 AM)AbiDrew85 Wrote: Considering the evidence I'm probably some kind of IS. And most likely PAIS.
(17-08-2013, 12:44 AM)AbiDrew85 Wrote: All I've ever said is that I'm female but that I don't "pass". In other words, I'm ugly right now, I know I'm ugly, and no one in their right mind can possibly NOT think me ugly.
I'm hairier than most men. And no one's finding that at all attractive.
(17-08-2013, 03:49 AM)Missed Miss Wrote: I read something in the medical world at least 5 years ago that said the first uterine transplant has been a total success!! A woman donated her body (or just the uterus) when she died, so they implanted it into a T-girl and she can now produce eggs, have periods, get pregnant and even have the baby!! Cool, hun!! :-) I would guess that the eggs are those of the woman they came from rather than her own, but it's a HUGE step closer, isn't it?
(17-08-2013, 06:04 AM)MissC Wrote: Inter-Sex. Not male, not female; in-between.
(17-08-2013, 06:04 AM)MissC Wrote: You were, of course, right to bring up IS when I originally joined this forum. There's a pretty good chance I'm some kind of it, too. But you got right up my nose with your immediate implication that there's something wrong with me, and that I should rush to a doctor.
(17-08-2013, 06:04 AM)MissC Wrote: If I'm IS, fine. The medical establishment actually does consider that a birth defect. And I'd probably be upset about that, if my give-a-shit wasn't broken. But... well... I'm pretty fucking awesome, all round.
(17-08-2013, 06:04 AM)MissC Wrote: You are, let's face it, an argumentative sort. I don't happen to think that's a bad thing. It's a sign of a better than average mind. And I do enjoy a good argument -- Monty Python style or not. Half the things I've said to you, if I had said them to an average mind, would have resulted in glazed eyes and drool. You also have quite an imagination.
(17-08-2013, 06:04 AM)MissC Wrote: I don't know why you're being so reactionary. Estrogen does that, I've noticed, so likely your program is working.
(17-08-2013, 06:04 AM)MissC Wrote: I'm not trying to troll you, or insult you, upset you, or anything else. I've tried to keep my arguments generic, or based only upon your own words, kept in context as much as I can. I'm trying to avoid pushing your buttons, but you keep making yourself into one big button with a hair trigger.
(17-08-2013, 06:04 AM)MissC Wrote: ... I won't reply to the rest of your post. I could; you know that.
(17-08-2013, 06:04 AM)MissC Wrote: But you're obviously your own worst enemy.
(17-08-2013, 06:04 AM)MissC Wrote: I only wanted to share my experience with you, in hopes that it would help. Perhaps you might see another way. If you don't, fine. Some people do find my story helpful. More than one potential SRS candidate has changed their mind. I'm not out to convert anyone, but to save one person with a decent mind from what could be a regretted decision or a wasted life. If that's not you, fine.
(17-08-2013, 06:04 AM)MissC Wrote: I don't know you. I've never met you, and likely never will. You're one of billions of humans on this planet who, when it comes down to it, I really don't give a fuck about.
(17-08-2013, 06:04 AM)MissC Wrote: The reality is, I have known for longer than you've been alive that it's useless to try and talk sense to people. I really only do it occasionally, anyway. My best lady friend tells me that it's because somewhere deep down I really do care. I told her she's nuts.
(17-08-2013, 12:49 PM)sfem Wrote: People who have a firm belief in the binary nature of gender seem to have a very hard time accepting the view of those who do not. I have seen this many times from many people, both trans and non-trans. On this board and others.
My personal theory is that it has nothing to do with what they think of what is being called in-betweeners here, and everything to do with what they think of themselves. The theory I favour is that until you fully embrace your own uniqueness (not just make peace with what you think of as your defects, or display it/them to others hoping for their approval), you will struggle to accept the differences in others. I also currently favour the notion that this particular concept is not specific to gender/sex/body issues, but to everything we experience in life.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.