[PattiJT]

I was just attempting a small bit of humor. If I lose that, what have I got? (Besides boobs?) It seems to me that it should be remembered, and a fact, that we're all different (Joy!) , and what is professed by 1 or 2 or 3 individuals is not necessarily going to be gospel for all or any of the rest of us. My experience is quite different from probably everyone here, so much so that I hesitated joining out of concern for the fact I used modern medical miracles to get "things" underway. Does that mean I profess it to be best? Of coarse not, but, I would not tell you to avoid it as an evil thing either. If asked, I would share my experience, just as so many of you have with the wide variety of methods and substances you have tried and continued to use or discarded. I won't do that without being asked, tho, as that is not what this forum is basically about.
By the way, the addition of PM and SP to my program has worked well, right up to the point about a week ago, when I had to cut it all off. Got a terrible breakout of itching and bumps in various places, and not knowing the cause, stopped all. No changes in anything, physical or mental in that time. Now the Dermotologist says it's a dry skin thing, and I'm all slippery in creams and such. I'm going to attribute it mostly to a change in weather, (and age) and go right back to the same stuff.
Sorry to ramble. I've enjoyed my short time here, and expect to be here a while. Again, I was not poking at anyone. No reason to. Best to all!!

[dargona]

I am not going to discredit the input in which chrissie made over the time she has been with the boards, but I do have to admit that since I started communicating on these forums I have felt biased and judgemental replies from her, only getting more negative and spiteful until the end. I dont want to see anybody go but the simple truth is that for those of us in the middle who have listened to her stance on our position without getting critical or nasty, it's ridiculous that she get so upset as to make hateful comments and leave on a bad note when we are simply trying to be accepted for who we are and who we can be. I feel like Bryony made some valid points as well, and I dont mind hearing anybody's opinion, but i take them as an opinion and keep on moving along, not retaliate negatively.

[bryony]

Now I feel even better!

B.

[DiBi]

if i can add my two cents, i mistrust everyone who has The Truth in his pocket and believes that's an absolute one... from the pope down to chrissie or whoever else

i would love if people used to start their allegations with "in my opinion" and close them with "but I could be wrong"

[bryony]

if i can add my two cents, i mistrust everyone who has The Truth in his pocket and believes that's an absolute one... from the pope down to chrissie or whoever else

i would love if people used to start their allegations with "in my opinion" and close them with "but I could be wrong"

In my opinion, you are absolutely right.... but I could be wrong!

B.

[Pansy-Mae]

In my opinion, you are absolutely right.... but I could be wrong!

B.

I'll take that to be a definite maybe then?

[Pansy-Mae]

... I have felt biased and judgemental replies from her, only getting more negative and spiteful until the end. I dont want to see anybody go but the simple truth is that for those of us in the middle who have listened to her stance on our position without getting critical or nasty, it's ridiculous that she get so upset as to make hateful comments and leave on a bad note when we are simply trying to be accepted for who we are and who we can be.

That is also my perception of the way things developed over the past 12 months or so, and I have a private view as to why that might have been, but I don't want to open that up for public discussion since we none of us actually know.

However, as a general comment, over the past 30-something years I have come across quite a few TS's and with only one or two exceptions have I known them to be even apparently happy and content, even though they will never admit to anything else. Many of them either constantly bitch about how they aren't accepted by the rest of society even though they are real women ( now), or else are adamant that even though they look like Les Dawson on a bad day, they are perfectly accepted everywhere.
It also a seems to be a common trait that they run down and attack anyone who dares to question that what they say is correct.

Whether that is all something fundamentally psychological, or whether it is induced by the long-term sea of 'alien' hormones, or both, or neither, I don't know, but there is a definite trend, IMO, and I'm very sure that I don't want to go there, at any price!

[DiBi]

That is also my perception of the way things developed over the past 12 months or so, and I have a private view as to why that might have been, but I don't want to open that up for public discussion since we none of us actually know.

I subscribe

(les dawson... i didn't know him, so i googled for a picture... it gives a good idea of what you mean )

[bryony]

<<<< TLDR Warning! >>>>

I am not going to discredit the input in which chrissie made over the time she has been with the boards, but I do have to admit that since I started communicating on these forums I have felt biased and judgemental replies from her, only getting more negative and spiteful until the end.

There's saying over here, don't know if it made it to the States:
"There but for the grace of God, go I".

I could so easily have been Chrissie. Brought up at a time when people who deviated from the norm were referred to as "sexual deviants" or "perverts".
(Perfectly valid medical descriptions - {I am a heretic} - but used by "ordinary" folk to denigrate others, much like the categorisations of mental disability, e.g. "cretin", "moron" etc.- and, with the added advantage that these insults were defined and blessed by the medical profession!)

By the time I got married, in 1978, things had got a lot easier for homosexuals (though they may not agree, but it's true), but transsexuals (and transvestites as I thought I was) had a long way to go.

tmi on

Prior to meeting my wife, I had had several relationships with some lovely girls which terminated shortly after they discovered my orgasmic incompetence, i.e. inability to achieve orgasm. At the time, I couldn't understand it - they were pretty, I loved them, what was up? That's when I started to worry about the TV fantasies I used when alone...

To cut a long story short I met a wonderful girl who was willing to persevere, and I was finally able to "let go" of my anxieties in order to perform. I think the first time I succeeded with her, I burst into tears.

Later on, when the family pheremones rebalance, lust turns into love and cuddles, and "normal" males start thinking about affairs, my wife agreed to let me wear various items of clothing during lovemaking which brought about a renaissance. When the kids grew up, the lingerie got thrown out, and, ashamedly, mental fantasy took its place.

With old age, ED reared its head (what an inappropriate analogy) mental fantasy was no longer enough. After a few failures, a weekend away with some lingerie proved that the problem could be (e)rectified.

tmi off

To cut a long story even shorter, that's how I came to be here, discovered PM, that I was really a TS, and the dangers of method acting (living the role! Isn't that what happened to Heath Ledger?)

However
I'm not saying this is what happened with Chrissie; but if I had been a little bit older, found a wife that was a bit more traditional, was more restrictive in what she or I could do, and died around about now, I would (possibly) be blaming my condition for pretty much ruining my life - and, do just she did. Start a transition asap. What would I have to lose? At my age, with my looks, I'm hardly likely to find a woman willing to put up with my mental disorder... not one that I would be interested in, probably! So a removal of sexual desire whilst conforming to my brain would solve a lot of problems.

It's a small step from blaming the fact that you are born a man, when you would have been happier as a woman, to blaming testosterone for the evils that have happened to you, and, by extension, the male gender in general. (Ironically, it was a lack of testosterone in the womb that caused the problem, supposedly)

I've been through quite a lot of Chrissie's old postings, even back to when she was Chrissiegirl, and I recommend others to do so. It's quite remarkable how her attitude changed from the moment she started living full-time as a woman. After the initial euphoria wore off, there came a time where she started to evangelise. My conjecture is that, freed of any sexual desire, which (I think) was the cause of many miserable experiences for her, she assumed that this would apply to all transsexuals.

From that point on, all of her posts were warning people not to grow breasts because they might have to present as women, and that, ipso facto, meant the loss of male functionality.

Hence, I feel, she was trying, in her own mind, to do the best she could for others in what she thought was her predicament.

Conjecture again: I can only assume that an unsatisfying sex life as an unfulfilled TS makes the concept of the FF TS presenting as a male repugnant, and for whom lesbianism is the highest pinnacle of joy.

And yet: Why is the concept of a fully-functioning male presenting as a women such a bad idea to embrace? I have not received one coherent remark from either Beverley or Chrissie explaining what is wrong with the notion.

After the radical surgery required to effect GRS, every single cell in your body would have an x-y chromosome pair. Your shoulders would still be too wide; hands and feet too big; hips too narrow; there would be no womb. Lactation would be a possibility but there are many men around the world who have lactated to feed babies effectively; fat deposition is not required, only ductal growth. The one thing that would make an effective difference is not available to most UK citizens, unless they have sufficient independent wealth, viz. Facial Feminisation Surgery.

So, the whole thing is simply a masquerade. Anyone with a discriminating eye can 'make' a man dressed as a woman, unless they invest in FFS and clever clothing, and hide their hands from view.

In my opinion, removal of the penis is a desperate struggle by people in denial, and that clitorplasty and vaginaplasty are the ritual confirmation of their womanhood.

For unattached TSs, all well and good. Whatever works for them. But I think it is a cruelty to a wife that has supported their transformation so far, the ultimate act of misogyny.

For me, I love women; I so wish I had been born one, and I'd rather die that deny my full ability to still make love, at the ripe old age of 59, to the woman who has loved and supported me for 35 years. (I still cannot imagine how Beverley can even countenance it.)

Therefore, to me, if you are going to masquerade, why not do the job properly?

If I had a situation where my family didn't mind me dressing and I had the looks for it (or could afford FFS), I'd be quite happy to dress and keep my "bits" tucked away. Who the hell is going to know? In what way would that be more of a masquerade?

I'm still waiting for a coherent, cogent argument for GRS vs FFS (for a married TS, of course. I'd feel a lot more confident in public with a woman's facial structure than the possibility that a travelling gynecologist decides to give me a public examination!

Especially since any woman can make the right face structure pretty - look at Kate Moss! Seen her without makeup lately? Whereas I have to say, sadly, that most middle-aged TSs that I see on the web look very sad indeed.... I don't want that to sound cruel, but I'd rather present with my looks as a man with odd bumps than a man with odd bumps in drag. Just my opinion, no flames necessary!

(Again, unattached TSs, esp. if you fancy men, {and can afford FFS}, go for it!)

I dont want to see anybody go but the simple truth is that for those of us in the middle who have listened to her stance on our position without getting critical or nasty, it's ridiculous that she get so upset as to make hateful comments and leave on a bad note when we are simply trying to be accepted for who we are and who we can be.

I feel pretty sure it was due to the circumstances of Beverley leaving. I still don't know the specifics of what I said that made her go, but I suspect Chrissie's final remarks were made because of it. I don't blame her. I was very lucky indeed finding my wife. I just wish Beverley realised quite how lucky she is, and what she is risking for - I can't think of a better phrase - a dream.

I feel like Bryony made some valid points as well,

I appreciate that! Though I have been accused in the past of being like a "dog with a bone" (mainly my wife). Again - please tell me to shut up!

and I dont mind hearing anybody's opinion, but i take them as an opinion and keep on moving along, not retaliate negatively.

Agreed! I would prefer, as I've said before, for people just to tell me to pipe down, move on to next business, or otherwise indicate when I've crossed a line.

I want to be here to give and receive help. The last thing I will ever do intentionally is to upset someone, and if ever I do, I feel bad about it! (Even if provoked).

Bryony

PS

I've not held back my theories like Pansy-Mae did! But it took me so long to write, and I haven't got the time to edit it any more ! :S

[sfem]

I've been away and I do not want to rekindle any of the fires which burned while I wasn't here. I will say that Chrissie at one time was a valuable contributor to this forum and others. Her posts definitely took an aggressive turn and I hope it isn't a danger sign for her mental state. I hope she gets past it whatever the cause. Chrissie if you read this, good luck and I hope things work out for you in the future.

Bev, I don't know if you will ever see this but in case you do, I read your posts to say you have other things to deal with and I wish you the best in dealing with them. Your comments in the past have been very helpful and I hope you find your way back to us one day. Regardless, best of luck and good fortune to you and yours.