[sfem]

SL, your trolling and contempt is not welcome. If you mean unsatisfied, say it. Inadequate does not mean unsatisfied. It is an insult and a provocation. Your jab at us regarding the idea that we must be a man or must be a woman, and your implication that it is defined by our genitalia and chest development is not generally accepted or of interest to the people who are in this group. As for the consequences being "unlivable", that is generally caused by people who can't accept differences between people, not by the changes we seek for ourselves. Your gender binary view, religion, and desire to let us know you disapprove of what we are doing amongst ourselves is your choice and your problem. Go troll elsewhere.

Why are the trolls coming out all of a sudden? We've been relatively free of them for so long now. What has changed?

And since I have decided I shouldn't post unless I have something to say about the OP's post, I will say something about the question of when we "stop". We shouldn't. We all have our reasons for doing NBE. If your personal reason has enough definition, you can "stop" when you achieve your goal. I suspect for most of us, this is not a simple pass/fail situation. We are exploring ourselves and hopefully growing as people in the process. I feel that as we progress, we will find that how we go about that exploration changes and our focus also changes. Is that stopping? I don't think so. I guess I'm trying to say that NBE is just a part of experiencing life for us. It isn't a goal-oriented task so much as a way to enable going into the future in a different way than we have experienced the past. We all have our own personal and relatively unique reasons for wanting to experience our future differently from our past. Unless you're an automaton, there isn't much point to living once you stop exploring and experiencing new things.

[Secret Lives]

Wow, this is my 5th post and I've already been insulted and attacked by no less than 3 people here. Is it because what I say isn't what you want to hear? You don't know me, my views, my "religion", or anything else about me, and to throw around "troll" as your best guess says a lot about you.

OK, so tolerance is not part of your forum. That's fine.

julieTG, I apologize if I have offended you and taken away from your post. I wanted to open up this thread to a little different thinking. Enough said.

SL

[AbiDrew85]

OK, so tolerance is not part of your forum. That's fine.

Actually, that's the problem. I may have jumped a little too soon on your intro post and come on a little too strong there, but that's past. And you did make us all sound like a bunch of guinea pigs. And why the hell are you even here if you're not pursuing NBE?

THIS, HERE, you were being intolerant and we called you on it. If you're not a troll stop acting like one.

Honestly you have all the earmarks of a certain someone we all know and love... (not)

[stefanie_s]

I would be thrilled to be where Dargona is!

[jessilondi]

I know I am still new here and have not earned my place yet, but SL is simply stating a different perspective and thinking towards the question at hand. One that I don't think warrants a lynching... Juss my two cents...

As for where we stop, I agree with sfem. Although, I can also see growth becoming somewhat of an addiction, so the question still stands. This is where I agree with SL. You need to analyze your intent and find the root cause for your need to grow, and your intent and variables needed to be considered will reveal the point where is best to stop. I don't think it is as simple as a big red button for stop and go either. This is something where while you gain something, you lose others. Sacrifices are made, and you need to find the point where the cause is worth the sacrifice. The comfortable spot. I don't think anyone can point that out for you, and even you will have a hard time seeing or knowing this "stopping point" if and when it comes. Your goals may even change at said point.

It's a great question, but I think the answer wont really reveal itself unless you already know. The best thing you can do is set goals for yourself, and when you reach said goals, re-analyze, and go from there. If you have outside perspectives (friends/wives) to help analyze for you, your judgement wont be as clouded by your own mind. If you feel the need to continue at that point, by all means. Happy growing!

[Pansy-Mae]

I think most of what Jessi has said is spot on .

However this forum is no different to any other in one respect, any newcomer who arrives and then in their first few posts, for whatever reason and however well-intentioned, criticises the ethos, motives, etc, of other members, will get jumped on. It's human nature and applies to a knitting circle just as much as male NBE.

In answer to Julie's original question, I would say that there is no way of knowing. Aside from the fact that we are all different; mentally, physically and in personal circumstances, I think its true to say that most of the longer term members end up in a kind of 'stop-start' situation and probably never truly do either!