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Who am I

#11

Thanks and yeah that does make things a bit easier.....my original plan/goal was to come out live who I truly was..find a guy and live happily ever after.....but....still the plan/dream...but not exactly sure who I would be in the mix.....very confused....
Have not started anything new yet...have thought very strongly of ordering PM and start with just a very low dose and see if that calms me enough....sometimes i just get to the point where I am totally consumed with this and get nothing done in yard or house...gets very very frustrating as I have always been one to be on top of everything and have everything done,cleaned,mowed and in its place....God I guess I would make someone a great wife....lol
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#12

Yeah, sometimes I feel that way, too...about making a great wife...haha.
But consider this...if you are used to gay guys, I am guessing most are not looking for a guy who has become female. So you would by necessity, unless you happened to find someone first willing to travel that route with you, need to likely go through a solo phase as you moved from gay guys to straight guys (as you transitioned yourself) And many fully transitioned transwomen find it tough finding a boyfriend who wants a woman who used to be a guy even of you are spectacular looking.
I think taking it slowly is a good plan for you. I would start with 1000 mg daily and see what that does to your GID. Stay at that level for awhile.
You may find you eventually like it enough to raise the amount or you may not. Be advised that long term use at higher levels will probably affect your libido and functionality to one degree or another. It differs from one individual to another. But if you want results you will need to cut out the T supplements.
You cant have your cake and eat it too...lol
Essentially herbs are HRT in slow motion.
Want more male? Reduce E and boost T.
Want more female?
Reduce T and boost E
While it can get complicated (ask Lotus...lol) it is not rocket science.
PM will boost phytoE and to some degree lower T all by itself.
But if you are still taking T you wont see or feel results as the two supplements will cancel each other out.
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#13

Ordered about an hour ago....Not sure where this will go...scared to death...was stressful enough coming out 6 years ago as gay...after being straight for all my life....(not really) but did a hell of a job pretending...lol....
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#14

My sense is that there are a lot of straight men who are attracted to transwomen. Now how many of them would make good husbands, I haven't a clue.

Clara
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#15

For many years I believed I was gay, firstly because at 17 I got a massive crush on a fourteen year old boy with the feminine beauty that often occurs at that age, secondly because I found that gay men would initiate sexual encounters and would often use me or expect me to participate in what I saw as a female role, and thirdly because I found that initiating a relationship with a female so difficult that the results were always apparently disastrous from my point of view, even with the one woman who established a strong friendship with me, but married someone else (and 17 years later became my wife). When we finally got together I tried to fess up to my homosexual encounters, but she said she didn't want to know and we should keep our sexual pasts to ourselves.

It was only quite recently that the pieces fell into place and I realized that I was gender variant rather than sexually disoriented, and I now regard my male persona as heterosexual since I have never had an emotional as opposed to a physical relationship with a male. Of course the situation raises all sorts of other conundrums that I and my wife of more than thirty years are trying to work our way through since I came out to her as gender variant: but we are and indeed have to be hopeful that our union and partnership shall survive.

I don't know how much any of this relates to your own situation, but I am more than willing to provide any help that I can.

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#16

Well, it's like this: if you as a guy are attracted to other guys sexually, you're gay, if you want to become a woman, you're NOT gay.
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#17

The only thing that has ever attracted me sexually in a male is femininity.

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#18

I've only ever seen one guy that I'd be interested in having as my boyfriend if I was a girl. Sadly, as it turns out, I couldn't HELP but notice how much he looks like George W. Bush...with curly hair!!!! So, he's out!!!!
If I was a girl, I'd be a lezzie, but I'd only fuck a guy for the sake of fucking him and feeling what it's like, unless I actually DID find one that I could REALLY fall in love with. The chances of that happening are slim to none!! I MIGHT pick one to have a kid or two with, though.
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#19

Dear BM59,
I fully understand your thinking, I too could not decide many years ago when I was in the Army if I was gay or just different. I had a close friend in the same unit that I actually fancied and so much wanted to test the water to see if he fancied me. It came very close several times but we ended up being posted to different regiments and that was that!
When in Singapore I deliberately went with a prostitute just to prove I wasn't gay and following that encounter proved to myself that the love of all things feminine and my attraction of 'Lady Boys' cleared the air in some way but left me bereft in others.

I too am in my sixties, still married (JUST) with a huge passion to transition. I too have it on my mind from morning to night, so much so, that I have set aside most of my other interests. I am consumed with the passion of growing breasts and try to adopt as much an androgynous outlook that my wife will tolerate without another argument. Some of my family know my feelings and my wife is dead against me telling my brother and his wife in fear of them shunning us.

I could say so much more but just want to , along with our eloquent sisters, say you are among friends who fully understand your dilemmas and where possible provide sound advice together with a cyber hug. Hope you find this of some help.

I noted you live in Cleveland , which one , Ohio or NE UK ?

Take care my friend.

Hugs
Heather


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