(16-01-2015, 12:19 AM)kari leigh Wrote: I'm sorry but these comments just don't sit well with me Clara. I don't feel like I've changed courses, roads or graduated to a new level.
...
Frankly, I had serious reservations about announcing my plan to transition and telling people here what I'm up to for fear of segregating myself
I am sorry you feel that way, but Clara has a point IMO. Deciding to transition is a path that very, very few people take. Whether or not you worry about segregating yourself, the fact of the matter is that other people will do it for you. Even those who accept you will treat you differently because successful transition is all about being treated differently. I grew up male, if I was still treated like a male after all I have gone through then I would view my transition as a failure.
I have had a few people who have not accepted my transition and who no longer want anything to do with me. Why?
"It is just too weird" was the only explanation I got from people I have known for more half my life. Some people just cut me off on principle, they have no idea what I look like, sound like or how I behave.
Way back when I tried PM it changed my mental outlook, but HRT is far, far more potent than PM. I have tried both for significant periods of time - years not weeks - and just six months of HRT had a bigger effect on me than two years of PM. My thinking, desires, wants and needs are feminising too. The things I enjoy doing are altering.
One of the reasons I left this forum was because my view of myself had altered so radically that I no longer fitted in. The only reason I contribute anything at present is to offer assistance to those on the transition path. I have no objections or any such to those who are happy being men with boobs - good for them if it makes them happy - and once I was there myself, sharing that viewpoint but it is not me any more. I can no longer contribute to those discussions as I no longer undergo the same sorts of thoughts and emotions as I did way back when. I re-read some of my earlier posts and I thought
"Did I write this? Good grief did I really think that way?". I know I was genuine and as honest as I could be when I wrote them but it really is like reading something someone else wrote. "He" is gone.
Shouting to the world
"I am a woman" and then working very hard to pick up the socialisation that girls and young women get has changed me as much as the HRT, maybe even more so. I do not regret it because being myself is a prize worth the pain and effort, but do not delude yourself that changes, both good and bad, both from others and within, will not happen.
