03-01-2017, 05:51 PM
I have a long history of transgender fantasies and behaviour - my first memories from 3 - 4 years of age are about me dressing as princess. Since then this issue was more as an always present undercurrent. However, it was more about changing my body than about clothes. During puberty it again emerged and get a more autogynephyllic taint. I thought about it a lot, it was always with me, but I neglected it as a mere fetish. When I turned 30 I got extreme anxiety that I would never be able to appear and be more feminine. To do something about it openly or "officially" would have meant for me that I am transsexual and this was unacceptable - I thought I didn't fit the narrative of "woman trapped in man's body" and I would have felt immense shame and guilt for hurting people around me. Then I discovered NBE and thought about it as a covert way to feminize myself. I thought that I would grow a pair of small breasts and that maybe I would feel more feminine. Apparently, herbs worked quite well...
Jannet is right - NBE can be a "gateway drug" that can open a flood of emotions. For me, it certainly worked that way. When I see myself in a mirror now, I like all the changes. When I feel my breasts brushing against my arms, when I feel them bounce... I feel right. I just can't imagine loosing them. I also experienced facial changes akin to HRT which also helps to motivate me to continue. So - one change leads to another and than to another. Slippery slope...
Poly
Jannet is right - NBE can be a "gateway drug" that can open a flood of emotions. For me, it certainly worked that way. When I see myself in a mirror now, I like all the changes. When I feel my breasts brushing against my arms, when I feel them bounce... I feel right. I just can't imagine loosing them. I also experienced facial changes akin to HRT which also helps to motivate me to continue. So - one change leads to another and than to another. Slippery slope...
Poly