12-04-2014, 12:51 AM
Clara,
My remark about sex education was hindsight. Sex was of course an inexhaustible subject for teenage boys in the next boys only boarding school that I went to at 13. I got allotted a ‘study’ with two other boys, one of whom suffered (later to and beyond the verge of mental illness) from being unable to live up to his father, who was still a legend in the school for his exploits, not only as a long distance runner but for the things he got away with such as participation in illegal barefist boxing tournaments in the city, but later for middle distance bronze medals in the (then) Empire Games and an Olympic silver medal. The other was unable to keep his mouth shut about his transgressions of an unwritten code as to what was considered permissible by way of mutual masturbation. Most of this was rather unappealing to me and one way and another I stayed aloof from it all and never got involved or solicited. After all I was big and gawky, and had gotten thrown out of the school choir for ‘untidy praying’ which spoiled the front row display in chapel of apparently angelic choirboys. I was thoroughly taken aback when at 17 I fell hook, line and sinker for a fourteen year old exhibiting that haunting female beauty that occurs in some pubescent boys. I’m now sure that it was only the female beauty that hooked me. It was all very strictly platonic in view of my own difficulty in initiating relationships. He and his friends just laughed at me, and so did everybody else. The obsession was very disruptive to my own personal and academic development, but it did get me started on serious travel as a sublimation of my dysphoria. My own homosexual encounters only came later starting at university.
Clara, Sammie, Heather, MM, Janet,
All your various comments, to most of which I can readily relate, tell me that I have been incredibly lucky that my wife is so reactive (even now, at 75). My own pleasure in the reaction long made irrelevant any deficiency there may have been in my own libido since working to produce the reaction was more than sufficient stimulus. Once I started to feel the need to work consciously on my own arousal, there seemed to be a serious negative feedback effect from the reduced reaction. Once I abandoned trying to arouse myself and again concentrated on her, I found her feedback very pleasurable (and we are able to go on much longer since I don't now have a pressure release valve to shut me down). I have not as yet managed to achieve in that way more than a taster of a female style orgasm - but I live in hope.
It is only fair to say that my wife does try to reciprocate, but I don’t feel that she is getting very much out of that (probably because my own reaction is insufficient or unconvincing), so I don’t like to press for it. In passing, I too like ‘woman on top’‘ but my wife was never keen in the past, although I think we find it a bit more useful now. Some of this has been a bit TMI, but needed to respond to your comments.
Hugs to you all
My remark about sex education was hindsight. Sex was of course an inexhaustible subject for teenage boys in the next boys only boarding school that I went to at 13. I got allotted a ‘study’ with two other boys, one of whom suffered (later to and beyond the verge of mental illness) from being unable to live up to his father, who was still a legend in the school for his exploits, not only as a long distance runner but for the things he got away with such as participation in illegal barefist boxing tournaments in the city, but later for middle distance bronze medals in the (then) Empire Games and an Olympic silver medal. The other was unable to keep his mouth shut about his transgressions of an unwritten code as to what was considered permissible by way of mutual masturbation. Most of this was rather unappealing to me and one way and another I stayed aloof from it all and never got involved or solicited. After all I was big and gawky, and had gotten thrown out of the school choir for ‘untidy praying’ which spoiled the front row display in chapel of apparently angelic choirboys. I was thoroughly taken aback when at 17 I fell hook, line and sinker for a fourteen year old exhibiting that haunting female beauty that occurs in some pubescent boys. I’m now sure that it was only the female beauty that hooked me. It was all very strictly platonic in view of my own difficulty in initiating relationships. He and his friends just laughed at me, and so did everybody else. The obsession was very disruptive to my own personal and academic development, but it did get me started on serious travel as a sublimation of my dysphoria. My own homosexual encounters only came later starting at university.
Clara, Sammie, Heather, MM, Janet,
All your various comments, to most of which I can readily relate, tell me that I have been incredibly lucky that my wife is so reactive (even now, at 75). My own pleasure in the reaction long made irrelevant any deficiency there may have been in my own libido since working to produce the reaction was more than sufficient stimulus. Once I started to feel the need to work consciously on my own arousal, there seemed to be a serious negative feedback effect from the reduced reaction. Once I abandoned trying to arouse myself and again concentrated on her, I found her feedback very pleasurable (and we are able to go on much longer since I don't now have a pressure release valve to shut me down). I have not as yet managed to achieve in that way more than a taster of a female style orgasm - but I live in hope.
It is only fair to say that my wife does try to reciprocate, but I don’t feel that she is getting very much out of that (probably because my own reaction is insufficient or unconvincing), so I don’t like to press for it. In passing, I too like ‘woman on top’‘ but my wife was never keen in the past, although I think we find it a bit more useful now. Some of this has been a bit TMI, but needed to respond to your comments.Hugs to you all