[Allyson]

I decided it would be better to start a new thread to make it easier to track, and well to move forward. 

Here's what I have come up with so far, hopefully it will be helpful, or perhaps others can append to it.  The lessons learned below are pretty much based on my two outings as a female.  Here we go!

Learn to keep my mouth shut!

• I think part of my problem when I went out those two nights, I said way too much.  First night talking to that guy, I told him what I was doing there, and what area I was in, and chain hotel I was at too.  That was not very smart, and could have proven to be extremely dangerous.  Luckily for me, it was just a phone call message to my hotel, which was very creepy!  Second night, while I avoided exact locations and hotels, I still said way more than I needed to. Part of my problem is I get nervous around new people.  I have no clue what to talk about, and I end up just spilling my guts!  I really need to focus and be more relaxed.
  

Don't go out alone

• Okay, so I knew this one from the beginning, but I really wanted to take that next step in my experiences!  I already knew that I could look okay as a female, but I wanted to know if I could actually go out, and fit in.  Not feel so awkward being on the outside looking in.  Unfortunately, I am not out to anyone I physically know.  I am also relatively low on physical friends, so if I didn't take that chance, it probably was never going to happen.  That being said, if you are going to go out alone, be mindful of your surroundings.  Be mindful of where you are at, some people may be looking for more than a friend.  If you drove, be sure to park in well lit areas.
  

Buy your own drinks

• While on the onset getting your drinks paid for may seem like a lovely gesture, but sometimes you have to wonder if there are ulterior motives.  It also leads to my next bullet below.  For me at least, I hate that feeling of now owing someone.  I rarely ask for favors, borrow money, etc.  I just feel like now I owe something, and I would rather not owe anyone anything.  
  

Don't leave your drink unattended

• I was actually somewhat smart on this one, but just throwing it out there.  Don't leave your drinks unattended.  You just never know when someone dubious may tamper with your drink.  I left my drink unattended once, and didn't bother drinking it again.
  

Don't drink on an empty stomach

• Okay, so I should have known better on this one too.  But I was in such a rush of emotions and feelings and excitement, I overlooked eating dinner!  So the alcohol ended me feeling a bit tipsy a lot sooner than I would normally feel.  I think in the future I will try and avoid drinking any alcohol as that's not something I normally do anyways.  If I do drink anything, I will limit myself to a drink just in case I screw up again, and forget to eat something.
  

Be more assertive

• Okay, so this one is a bit more difficult for me.  I am a pretty passive person.  I mostly go with the flow, and try not to make too many waves in the process.  I really need to be more assertive when it is called for.  I know it would benefit all around, and probably avoid a lot of odd situations I have found myself in throughout my life.  This is something that is not easy for me, and I know will take a lot of work, and conscious effort on my part.
  

Don't let the bad ruin the good

• My first reaction after my negative experiences going out was, screw it, I am never doing this again.  I will never go out dressed as a female again, I needed to let that part of my life die as quickly as possible.  Eventually I realized that is not possible.  Sofia is me, and apparently a big part of me now.  Yeah, I fucked up, I made a lot of mistakes, but I know that, I realize that, and I have accepted that.  I hope that I have truly learned from my mistakes and will not make these same mistakes ever again.  Hopefully, when I work the courage to go out again, it will be truly a memory worth having.  I hope that the next time I go out, it is with more confidence in myself, and I am able to completely blend in without drawing any unnecessary attention to myself.  
  

So that's what I have so far.  I am sure there are probably a few things I have overlooked, or possibly understated.  I welcome any feedback or additions that will not only help myself, but may help others working up the courage to go out and face the world!  Thank you all for the love and support you have shown, it truly warms my heart.  

Sofia-
Leave it to you to think of how your unfortunate experience might benefit others.  You are such a tender Bunny!  Thank you for risking the embarrassment and harshness you feared to share all of it with your fellow sisters.  I so appreciate being reminded of things we should all know, but don't really appreciate because we lived our formative years in the wrong body, thus missing so many things we should have just absorbed from the women around us.

[spanky (aka Lola)]

Great post, wabbit!  Sharing what you have learned is invaluable.  See you in the chat room!

[julieTG]

Crikey this Bunny certainly does wabbit

lol

x

Julie

[Sofia Bunny]

Thank you all again for your support and responses.  I am doing well, so no need to worry.  Regarding my test results, I called today, and they have them in.  Unfortunately, they have not been reviewed.  So I won't know anything in that regards till the 6th when the person that conducted my examination returns.  Yay, more waiting.  

Re Jannet - Good point, if you have the option to go to a support group, I whole heartedly recommend it.  I'm sure speaking with more like minded individuals would prove to be extremely helpful, and those more experienced may have some insight as to safe places to go.  Hopefully maybe you can make some friends and make outings a lot less stressful.  Unfortunately, as I have stated before,  I haven't been able to find anything other than a youth oriented support group.  I've tried calling to see if maybe they can provide other information, but it seems the number is disconnected?  sighs  I guess I just can't catch a break.  Nearest cities next to me is a much smaller community and no luck there either, other place is another country, and well, I am not going there.  I've searched for support places when I've traveled, and again, just poor luck.  It seems I just missed it, or won't be happening till after I have returned home.  Sometimes I wonder if the universe is trying to tell me something.  Stop what you are doing, you have no business doing this, go back, go back while you still can, before it's too late!  Then I realize it's probably just my own insecurities.

Re iaboy - Yes, good point, best to get to truly know your new friends before planning any get togethers.  Ya never know if they are a wolf in sheep clothing, or in this case a man in women's clothing?  Never mind, thinking about the logic behind that is giving me a headache.  Point being, know thy friend.    I didn't take it as any disrespect or meanness iaboy, it is what it is, and everyone is entitled to their opinions.  As I had mentioned in one of my responses, it's easy to look in and see what's wrong from the outside, but when you're on the inside looking out, things aren't always as clear.  There were a lot of things I should have done, unfortunately I was too caught up with my own excitement that I let my guard down.  Hard lessons to learn, but as stated by others, could have been a hell of a lot worse.

Re Th3saurus - Thank you for the response. I think writing this out has probably been the most therapeutic for me.  It has definitely helped with moving forward and beyond.  I don't want to make the same mistakes, and the same time, I hope there is some value in sharing my experiences.  There is much to be learned from both the good and the bad and I hope that it may help others to take that next step and enjoy life.  Life will always be filled with ups and downs, so I try and make the most of what I have, and strive for more ups!  Of course it doesn't always go the way we hoped, but perseverance shall prevail.  I love this quote/saying, Nothing worth having comes easy.  It is so true, so I'm not going to let a few sour moments hold me back.

Re Tanya - I'm glad I did these posts as well.  No regrets in doing so.  If they can help, awesome, if not, well it's been helpful for me!  Thank you Tanya for always being there for me you are an absolutely wonderful friend to have!! hugs & kisses

Re Poly - Thank you so much for your response!  I appreciated it immensely!

Re Allyson - Oh Alyson, there's no need to thank me for anything.  I should be thanking you, you were at the right place and the right time for me.  You have no idea how much that helped.  So from the bottom of my heart, thank you so so much!!  hugs

Re Spanky - Thank you Spanky, sharing is caring after all!  I'm glad to have shared!  hugs

Re Julie - I am not quite sure what you mean, as there's so much it could mean.

[tanysquirrel]

awe, your making me blush .. you, my dear bun bun, have been a wonderful friend as well :  Hugs and kisses.