Posts: 1,837
Threads: 88
Joined: Dec 2014
(14-09-2016, 04:26 PM)iaboy Wrote: The problem, Sofia, is that being labeled "Trans-gendered" never, NEVER felt like that was an accurate description. To me, that is when a person want to be full time the opposite of what he/she was born as. Or, a person who wants to do the complete SRS thing.
The way my mind thinks, to be called trans-gendered, is worse than being called a transvestite. In my world, a transvestite just get a thrill sexually from cross dressing. And assumed to have some mental defect.
Now I realize, that the term has been made to encase all facets of the above. It will take some time before I get accustomed to having that label attached to me. I am just now understanding, that it's a label that Doctor's, Therapists and the like use to differentiate from the real troubled persons and I have to accept that I am not flawed, but it's MY normal.
I see transgendered as a feeling, a want, a need, to be seen and accepted as feminine.
Not as Full SRS or it means nothing.
Posts: 3,187
Threads: 64
Joined: Sep 2012
14-09-2016, 04:42 PM
(This post was last modified: 14-09-2016, 04:44 PM by
The First Aria.)
Anyways, here is one of the suggestions the Therapist suggested.
To set a day and time if possible, to start the discussion. That way, you feel like you cant put it off any longer. Prep yourself by remembering what brought the two of you together. Including sexual attraction, mutual friends and the shared ideas and goals.
Also, remember the ups/downs of your life together. But definitely remember that it was a phase, and obstacles you both survived together. And this is just another phase of your life that should be easily overcome as well. And, if it's true, you should tell the other person that even though you are going through this. That the reasons you were attracted and fell in love with your SO has not changed.
Just like you don't love her less for NOT wearing makeup around the house on weekends, or that you don't love her MORE when she does. For isn't makeup just that? A crutch, a tool to make a person feel better about her self, or it's socially expected of her? Just because it's more socially acceptable does not make it an obligation to wear makeup 24/7. That's the same way you feel about when you want to dress up or be more feminine.
Now, for me.... I thought it was on the mark. A very loving, intelligent logical and yet from the heart way to explain things.
What say you?
Posts: 3,187
Threads: 64
Joined: Sep 2012
(14-09-2016, 04:37 PM)jannet.duff Wrote: (14-09-2016, 04:26 PM)iaboy Wrote: The problem, Sofia, is that being labeled "Trans-gendered" never, NEVER felt like that was an accurate description. To me, that is when a person want to be full time the opposite of what he/she was born as. Or, a person who wants to do the complete SRS thing.
The way my mind thinks, to be called trans-gendered, is worse than being called a transvestite. In my world, a transvestite just get a thrill sexually from cross dressing. And assumed to have some mental defect.
Now I realize, that the term has been made to encase all facets of the above. It will take some time before I get accustomed to having that label attached to me. I am just now understanding, that it's a label that Doctor's, Therapists and the like use to differentiate from the real troubled persons and I have to accept that I am not flawed, but it's MY normal.
I see transgendered as a feeling, a want, a need, to be seen and accepted as feminine.
Not as Full SRS or it means nothing.
I agree! ! The difference to me is to which degree. Full time, part time or when the mood, desire is there.
Posts: 1,241
Threads: 61
Joined: Nov 2014
What say me? The response was what I was expecting, and totally makes sense. Alas, I feel easier said than done especially if emotions run high. I hope it turns out well for you whenever you decide to broach the subject.
Posts: 3,187
Threads: 64
Joined: Sep 2012
Ya, that's my thought as well. And bear in mind, my therapist hasn't pushed it and I think she might recommend the three of us. This was just her thought if I should decide to have the "chat".
Posts: 154
Threads: 3
Joined: Jan 2016
15-09-2016, 10:29 AM
(This post was last modified: 15-09-2016, 10:32 AM by
PaulaJ.)
Have you looked at non-binary identities?
I personally see myself as liking most aspects of being MtF transgender, though not all. That's really all it is, though some over-complicate it with lots of sub-identities...
Posts: 3,187
Threads: 64
Joined: Sep 2012
(15-09-2016, 10:29 AM)PaulaJ Wrote: Have you looked at non-binary identities?
I personally see myself as liking most aspects of being MtF transgender, though not all. That's really all it is, though some over-complicate it with lots of sub-identities...
Paula, not sure what you mean? I am trying real hard to adjust to the fact that I am now considered Trans-Gendered. I have never fooled myself on the reasons why I like to wear women's clothes when I have a chance. So, I am not for sure what you mean.
Posts: 3,089
Threads: 363
Joined: Jun 2011
Neither Male or female
just you ?
Julie
Posts: 1,241
Threads: 61
Joined: Nov 2014
(15-09-2016, 03:37 PM)julieTG Wrote: Neither Male or female
just you ?
Julie
That's me in a nutshell Julie.
Posts: 3,187
Threads: 64
Joined: Sep 2012
Julie and Sofia, I looked up "Two Spirit" the day after my Therapist suggested it to me. I can agree with most of it, except the sexual relations with same sex of course. Maybe Chameleon would best describe my feelings. You know, able to change according to surroundings, but in my case feelings or needs??
I kind of like that idea. Just being myself is the best descriptor. But we all know that everyone has to pigeon hole to make everything right in the universe. Especially Doctor's and Specialists. LOL..
