[Happyme]

Thanks Aria,
Thats perfect. I'll write more later.
You are just wonderful

Bobbi

[Happyme]

Wow, I hadn't noticed it had been so long since I posted on this thread.  Geeze!

Anyways, Bobbi asked me how I was feeling since being on HRT from last December.

I think, the best way to describe it is two stages.  1.  For the first couple of months, it was a very questionable time.  I questioned rather I was doing the right thing as well as wondering if I could stop at any time.  The answer to the first one was I was nervous as all get out.  I still had to really figure out if I was of "Two Souls" or not.  The second part was that the G.D. said that once I "reprogrammed" my body, I would still have to take either male HRT or female HRT since my T making ability would be somewhat muted in a fashion.   GULP ! ! !

So, with the above realization, I was TERRIBLY nervous.

But, as luck would have it, about 1/2 way through the 3rd month.  A calming realization came over me.  I could not describe it as euphoria, but more of a understanding.  That deep down, probably since I was little, or hell, maybe since birth, I had always been stuck in the middle.

As my breasts and hips started to move in the right direction, I found that little extra acceptance of who I really am....  A better place in my mind.   I never EVER again have to stuff my bra's, use breast forms to pretend that I had breasts.  They were starting to become a reality...  I could now truly dress either male or female or even inbetween dictated only by my mood and circumstances.

But, it also made me more aware of the fact that I would never truly turn in my "man card".  There is a certain comfort knowing that I am getting closer to becoming a "hermaphrodite" in my appearance and thoughts.  I could recall my anger if my man hood was challenged, and yet weigh the situation and the source and come to a more peaceful outcome.  I have always had empathy for other people, but now I feel it's more emphasized by not only my actions, but by thought as well.

I have conquered many fears, and worked out many problems.  Except my wife, whom I love more than 44 years years of marriage.  She is doing her damnedest to try to understand, but has some difficulty in getting totally there.  And the sasd part.  I cannot condemn, nor blame her.  I mean, my journey has taken 30 to coming on 63 years of living.  And I am still not totally there yet.

Hence, I think I will still have to rely on my Therapist a while longer.

Sorry for the longish post, but you asked for it.  So blame yourself.   

WOW that was great, Like I said already!
And thank you for the long post, I'm glad I asked for it too.
It really sounds like you have comes to grips with the two spirit. You jumped the fence and went with HRT, boobies are growing and you still want to hold the man card. Superb.
I didnt think it was possible.
I think if anyone can pull it off its you.
As for your wife, I'd show her the above post and maybe she will understand a little bit more.
Rock on Aria.
Bobbi

[The First Aria]

Bobbi, you have always tried to be a friend, supported my dumb ass and hopefully always were honest in your assessments.  You and Lotus have become very great comrades and friends.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Here is where I am at.   My therapist thinks I need to spend more time in female garb, but not to the exclusion of my male personna.  At this point in time I can't.  I have my 4 Grandsons and divorced Daughter living with us.  ( Thank God for a relatively good size home.)

I do not want to scare my G Kids away from me, nor alienate my Daughter or my Wife.  But, at the same time, maybe living on the other side of the fence, as it were, might be cathartic and relaxing time in that I will become better acquainted with "her".  Maybe in this way, since I don't want to go SRS or anything of that nature, I can look forward to being "Aria" even for a week.

My Therapist has suggested that I plan a Weekend as Aria.  Go out of town, w/out wife or anyone that may know me and be apprehensive of Aria.  That seems to make a lot of sense.  It would show me rather or not just to be a "closet woman" or at least give me something to look forward to.

I know a couple of Gurls from here have done so and was wondering what they and everyone else thinks.  My only caveat to doing so, is I want to train my voice as a couple have here before I go out on my own.  I would LOVE to have a Wing Gurl, or at least someone who would understand to come along.  But, everyone I have come into contact seems very stand offish, or a "Trans Nazi" in a way.

What say you???  All replies and or thoughts would be great to see.

[julieTG]

Hi Aria


yes indeed could be cathartic

but remember Bunny she went for a makeover realised she made a beautiful woman
hopped the fence and we never see her now

Julie

[The First Aria]

That's what Bunny's do.....  Hop.  Let me try it another way.   Sure, anything's possible if deep down that is what a person needs or wants.  Rather it's Transexualism, Transgenderism, want to become fat, want to loose weight...  Or commit murder or suicide.  

I still believe, that a goal can be met, without the slippery slope, pink fog or however you describe it.  I believe everyone is pre-programed to be a certain person, or want to be.  Now, anyone can fight it, and win with enough guts, stamina or courage.  It's ultimately, if a person hides behind his/her/it's , their decision.  Others may have an agenda for being right all the time, but I'm at an age that I know what I believe, or know to be true is just a reflexion of my alter ego rearing its nasty head.  Some times I'm subjectively correct, but other times, I am waaaaaay wrong.

So, here is what I say.....   You win, I live full time as a woman.....  I always sit to pee, I never swear because that is a hell of a way for a dipshit woman to be....  In fact, I am what anyone wants me to be...  I am merely sharing my experiences, thoughts, hopes, fears of loosing family friends and loved ones.....  For some, that's not enough.....

Why you are so compelled to force me into something I do not subscribe or want to subscribe to is way beyond my feeble all female mind to comprehend.  I know where this MIGHT lead, I know where I want it to lead and I pray to God everyday that I can somehow reconcile the fact that for over 30 yrs, I couldn't even reconcile why I liked to cross dress.  Slippery slope??  Maybe, or is just a place where enough is enough that, in you mind and body, have hit the best place for yourself?  I believe the later.

The only "mystical" thing about NBE or HRT is that the body is truly a wondrous sight to behold, truly mysterious in itself.  And just think.....  Three or four hormones can decide at just the right time per-natally how you come out of the oven.  Rather your an aggressive leader among the people, or just a leader in the kitchen or all things civilized and soft.  Testosterone , DHT, Estrogen, Progesterone and Prolactin any differing amounts, lack of one, or the over powering of another  can make anyone "different".  But as for me, that is what makes life beautiful, non boring and worth living.

So, I say you are right, if you will agree that I am also right.  Neither of us should worry about "Turning in our Man Card", cause the minute you pick up a piece of women's clothing and wonder.....  " What if?" or messed with life altering herbs or HRT...  We have all, in fact, turned in our male cards.  It's only to what degree that you have done so.

[julieTG]

Fair answer
x

Julie

[Happyme]

Bobbi, you have always tried to be a friend, supported my dumb ass and hopefully always were honest in your assessments.  You and Lotus have become very great comrades and friends.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Here is where I am at.   My therapist thinks I need to spend more time in female garb, but not to the exclusion of my male personna.  At this point in time I can't.  I have my 4 Grandsons and divorced Daughter living with us.  ( Thank God for a relatively good size home.)

I do not want to scare my G Kids away from me, nor alienate my Daughter or my Wife.  But, at the same time, maybe living on the other side of the fence, as it were, might be cathartic and relaxing time in that I will become better acquainted with "her".  Maybe in this way, since I don't want to go SRS or anything of that nature, I can look forward to being "Aria" even for a week.

My Therapist has suggested that I plan a Weekend as Aria.  Go out of town, w/out wife or anyone that may know me and be apprehensive of Aria.  That seems to make a lot of sense.  It would show me rather or not just to be a "closet woman" or at least give me something to look forward to.

I know a couple of Gurls from here have done so and was wondering what they and everyone else thinks.  My only caveat to doing so, is I want to train my voice as a couple have here before I go out on my own.  I would LOVE to have a Wing Gurl, or at least someone who would understand to come along.  But, everyone I have come into contact seems very stand offish, or a "Trans Nazi" in a way.

What say you???  All replies and or thoughts would be great to see.

Phew, That was a hell of a post.
I have read it several times now and maybe I can offer you my 2 cents. And by the way It pisses me off that the Cent sign no longer exists on keyboards.
Thats neither here nor there.
So First, thank you for putting me in your friend pile. Everything I have ever told you I felt with my heart, so there.
I was thrilled that you had introduced me to Two spirit! That made my life much easier. I can be boy and girl as the wind blows me. Life is wonderful.

I was fearful of what would happen to the two spirits in you when you went on HRT, And I expressed that to you but was over ruled. HRT has calmed you down and cleared up some fears, and really did wonders for your breasts and figure.
Now the therapist wants you to spend more time as Aria! But the boy part of you has real honest concerns about the husband, dad, grand dad, roles he owns.  Good on ya as they say!

On the other hand, I think that a weekend or more in a TG friendly place would be fun. And I am sure you have the strength to say Yeah that was fun, but now its time for the other real world jobs to get done. Just like most vacations are calming, and restful, this could be the same, but just dont forget the other part of the two spirit.
I think that having a wing gurl to do this adventure would make a lot more fun and safer.
I'd love to go but my with my voice we would never order any food or get a room!

In Crossdressers.com there was a thread about someone in the northwest USA that was running a getaway home for TG's. It was like a normal resort except all the guests were trans--something. Meaning CD to TS. I'll see If I can find the thread.

Thats all I got.. at least for the moment, Just dont lose track of the TWO spirit.
Hugs Bobbi.

OK Julie throw your rocks  

[Happyme]

Not what I was looking for but Cancun at an LGBT friendly resort aint too bad.
https://www.groupon.com/deals/ga-oasis-sens?c=all&p=2

Sorry about the Groupon ad. Twas the best I could do.
Bobbi

[The First Aria]

Bobbi, you have always tried to be a friend, supported my dumb ass and hopefully always were honest in your assessments.  You and Lotus have become very great comrades and friends.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Here is where I am at.   My therapist thinks I need to spend more time in female garb, but not to the exclusion of my male personna.  At this point in time I can't.  I have my 4 Grandsons and divorced Daughter living with us.  ( Thank God for a relatively good size home.)

I do not want to scare my G Kids away from me, nor alienate my Daughter or my Wife.  But, at the same time, maybe living on the other side of the fence, as it were, might be cathartic and relaxing time in that I will become better acquainted with "her".  Maybe in this way, since I don't want to go SRS or anything of that nature, I can look forward to being "Aria" even for a week.

My Therapist has suggested that I plan a Weekend as Aria.  Go out of town, w/out wife or anyone that may know me and be apprehensive of Aria.  That seems to make a lot of sense.  It would show me rather or not just to be a "closet woman" or at least give me something to look forward to.

I know a couple of Gurls from here have done so and was wondering what they and everyone else thinks.  My only caveat to doing so, is I want to train my voice as a couple have here before I go out on my own.  I would LOVE to have a Wing Gurl, or at least someone who would understand to come along.  But, everyone I have come into contact seems very stand offish, or a "Trans Nazi" in a way.

What say you???  All replies and or thoughts would be great to see.

Phew, That was a hell of a post.
I have read it several times now and maybe I can offer you my 2 cents. And by the way It pisses me off that the Cent sign no longer exists on keyboards.
Thats neither here nor there.
So First, thank you for putting me in your friend pile. Everything I have ever told you I felt with my heart, so there.
I was thrilled that you had introduced me to Two spirit! That made my life much easier. I can be boy and girl as the wind blows me. Life is wonderful.

I was fearful of what would happen to the two spirits in you when you went on HRT, And I expressed that to you but was over ruled. HRT has calmed you down and cleared up some fears, and really did wonders for your breasts and figure.
Now the therapist wants you to spend more time as Aria! But the boy part of you has real honest concerns about the husband, dad, grand dad, roles he owns.  Good on ya as they say!

On the other hand, I think that a weekend or more in a TG friendly place would be fun. And I am sure you have the strength to say Yeah that was fun, but now its time for the other real world jobs to get done. Just like most vacations are calming, and restful, this could be the same, but just dont forget the other part of the two spirit.
I think that having a wing gurl to do this adventure would make a lot more fun and safer.
I'd love to go but my with my voice we would never order any food or get a room!

In Crossdressers.com there was a thread about someone in the northwest USA that was running a getaway home for TG's. It was like a normal resort except all the guests were trans--something. Meaning CD to TS. I'll see If I can find the thread.

Thats all I got.. at least for the moment, Just dont lose track of the TWO spirit.
Hugs Bobbi.

OK Julie throw your rocks  

That would be great if you could find the thread.  Same here Bobbi.  My voice could litterally get me in deep, DEEP trouble in a Biker's Bar for sure.   LOL....  But, I have found a couple of "DIY" Voice feminization courses.  That plus what a person can pick up on YouTube might be a help.  I had thought about if I truly start doing the voice thing, about up loading a short before and after voice track as well as the usual body shots.  I am just not sure if that is allowed here or not.

Being of Two Spirit did ring a lot of bells with me, and makes a great deal of sense.  Glad I put it up for everyone here to see.  Rather they believe in it or not, for some it could really hit the mark.

Thanks Bobbi, if some of my post helps you and others, then I feel like a very happy Gurl indeed.

[julieTG]

Lol
Throw my rocks

I would never be so hypocritical 

Reading the post I was dreaming I could do the same in a safe environment 

I would love to spend a weekend purely enfemme with my wife at a country hotel somewhere

A girl can dream 

X

Julie