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Everybody has a back story?

#11

As far as I know, it was widely prescribed to women in the UK & US for decades. The link I supplied above is a huge website, and your question is probably answered within.

Another thing to consider, is that it was the norm to feed to to beef cattle and therefore the entire population was eating estrogen laced beef.
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#12

In reaction of the usage of DES by female / mothers during pregnancy, I think my mother did the same; the Netherlands. Was it in use in the 60s? 
After her marriage in 1961 my mother had several miscarriages. My father was a doctor (not a GP but representing employer looking after employees) and in 1967 I have been born. 

She might have used it. Could have been subscribed directly by my father, or the GP as well. They never mentioned anything about usage of it. But I started having interest in female clothes since 12 yo, always have been a small framed boy, not extreme manly and also the will to grow breast. So far I never found something like usage of DES and impact at boys but I see there are some messages here about it.
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#13

One thing to consider is that even though DES was banned in 1960 (?), it appears that DES had a multi-generational effect. While I'm going from memory right now, that link I originally shared is from a huge website that is loaded with information from years worth of studies and research about DES.
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#14

Apparently DES use in the food industry was banned as late as 1979.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8507770/

While I'm just gathering links right now and about to go work outside in the yard, not taking the time to study these latest findings, I think it's interesting that even here in the year 2024, DES and its effects are still being studied.

https://desaction.org/about-des-diethyls...es-of-des/
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#15

TL;DR: non-transitioned transwoman

I've never felt male my entire life.  I sometimes thought that when I grew up, I'd be a capable, elegantly dressed woman like the women in my parents' bohemian social circle.  They seemed so sophisticated & cool, laid-back & expressive, and I felt like I had so much more in common with them that the adult men. The adult men weren't ignorant apes or philistines, but they had a sort of aggressiveness/assertiveness and a rakish quality that I've never felt even as an adult man.


For me, women's clothing has always had significance beyond its soft-erotic flattering of the female figure. I wished I was the woman that the clothes would really flatter. I wished I could just casually wear them to the office or to an evening event with no erotic dimension to them.  The clothes feel like "dressing well" and not just wearing a male costume.  I felt better about myself when I lost weight and could wear a women's size 8 or size 6 blazer, but still I seldom went out because my face would be a dead giveaway. I have always been distressed by this.

I was using women's bathrooms whenever I could from elementary school (1970s) until I left school and worked in a professional environment (90s).  And even then I would use them sometimes without thinking about it. to my occasional embarrassment. 

I tucked my genitals when I wore shorts or tight jeans (no stretch jeans then) when I was in elementary & high school. I was jealous of how smooth & curvy the girls' bodies were, and I hated how my body wasn't becoming more like theirs. 

I remember seeing a psychiatrist when I was in the 7th or 8th grade (12 or 13 years old), and talking with him about being bullied at school.  He advised me to "push back" either verbally or physically. What I couldn't tell him is that my bullies were all girls.  They'd mock me, supposedly imitating me by playacting as a prissy female teacher's pet. They'd start rumors that I was pretending to be a boy and try to switch my shoes or jacket or whatever with theirs. I wanted to say... yes, I'm pretending to be a boy, what are you going to do about it?... but I knew that I'd lose my male friends by going that route.


After I got divorced a few years back, I went crossdressed to an opera (Don Giovanni) at Lincoln Center, which was eight blocks away from my apartment.  I had spent months getting ready for that moment.  I  had done coolsculpting (nonsurgical fat reduction) on my midsection, and had dieted down to a lithe 130 pounds (I'm 5'8"), took herbal estrogens and anti-androgens.  I concentrated my workouts on lower body &   core strength, and cardio.  I had a noninvasive procedure done to tighten the skin & reduce fat on my face & neck.  I got surgery to remove my tailor bunions & correct my pinky hammertoes ("Perfect 10" surgery for women to wear heels comfortably).  I changed my diet completely & focused on clean living and subscribed to a magazine for a while that is targeted to healthy, active women.  I spent months practicing makeup based on tasteful makeup Youtube videos.  I even hired an executive women's image consultant (who agreed to work with a man who wanted to crossdress) for advice on a human hair wig & makeup, and how to walk & carry myself better, and she went shopping with me for a few outfits, including the dress I wore to the opera.  I did voice practice with a woman who wrote a few books on it.  In short, I did a lot of things that could help me pass without permanently forfeiting my male card.

I went to the opera and was a bit thrilled to not feel like every eye was on me.  But standing with a glass of champagne at intermission, I was surprised to feel a tap on my back shoulder and someone call my name (my nickname IRL is not uncommon as a woman's name, but is more often a man's name).  I turned around to see a woman I had worked with a few years prior.  She was excited to see me.  She didn't say anything about how I was dressed, and took me over to where her (female) friends were standing & introduced me, pronouncing my name as a woman would more often use it.  We chatted amiably (style maven's advice was extremely helpful here ) until intermission ended.  But I met them afterward and we went to a nearby restaurant/lounge.   My friend knew some other people there (male and female) and there was a big group of us talking and ordering drinks & food.  A man sitting next to me said, "you seem nervous. Is everything OK?" We chatted for a bit.  He was a fashion photographer & openly gay.  As he was about to leave, he gave me his card & said, "Don't be nervous.  You're one of the better-looking women here.  Call me if you'd like to go out sometime.  I have some friends who'd love to meet you too."

To me, that was a pretty obvious nod to my crossdressed status.  It freaked me out, and I haven't crossdressed in public since then. It made me remember my "turning point", the only other time I crossdressed in public.

In college, I had a female friend who was goth-lite, into costumes and dressing as historical female figures for on-campus events.  She persuaded me to go with her to a Halloween party with her dressed as the MTV cartoon character Daria and me as her friend Jane.  I played the part pretty well, and didn't break character at the art school party we went to. But then this openly & very aggressively gay man wouldn't leave me alone.  It scared me & made me feel very vulnerable, like I was leading him on by dressing as & playing this campy character.   Casey thought it was "cute" that I had an "admirer".

I knew I wasn't gay.  I felt like everyone including my friends were pushing me into being gay.  While I have masturbated while dressed in female clothing, my feeling of "femaleness" was not primarily sexual, but emotional, social, and spiritual.  I resented other people sexualizing it.  I reacted & went the other way and deadened that entire aspect of me and did my best to be a man, including marrying two women. 

The reality of my identity has never changed.  I've done my best to be a good "husband", "to live up to the terms of my contract". In my first marriage, we were like a lesbian couple, & I didn't think much until years later about how the lesbian couple across the street from us invited us frequently to their dinners with friends, with me the only male there.  While I'm the "husband" in my current marriage, we interact much more like Casey and I did (with the exception of having frequent sex).  My wife didn't date too much prior to our getting together, which is good from my perspective since she doesn't realize how unusual I am as a "husband".   
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