Yeah, I can understand that aspect, too, Clara. It may be the same thing. I always suspected, in my case that it was to do with not being able to relax enough in a purely passive role, and yet... and yet, I have no trouble at all in that regard when I consider acting as "bottom" in more traditional sex. Possibly that is because, at least in the case of the participation of someone with a real member vrs. something made of plastic, my participation, though passive, would still be active in the sense of my partner recieving pleasure at the same time as myself. Then again, I guess I am not allowing for the case of those who DO receive pleasure and satisfaction from giving head, and by that I mean not the joy of giving pleasure, but rather those who really enjoy the act itself (which I can understand. too), in and of itself, regardless of the pleasure they are giving. I fear I am not making sense.
As you said (I think it was you...LOL) sex is a complicated business. Heh heh

Similarly, I would never, thank God, have been able to be a rapist or anything close, because I could never become aroused without absolutely knowing for certain that the arousal was mutual.

I feel the same way!

Asexual - incapable of sexual arousal

Really?? As far as I know worms are asexual, in other words, they have both sexes and can have sex with themselves.

Hi all, Clara's earlier post said I all for me, I find it difficult to climax these days in male role. In the few and far between sexual activities with my wife I have to engineer being on the bottom and my mind totally goes into female thoughts.

Unfortunately I think she has twigged to this and now resists either sex or being on top. I dream of wearing some female attire and having sex but I suspect ' hell will freeze over first' Lol !

One last thing, I accidentally ( honestly) clicked on a small video showing a sex act of a 'Ladyboy & woman' having sex. OMG was this so arousing which got me thinking that I could be tempted to have a sexual encounter with such a ladyboy. He was as gorgeous as the woman but just had a penis opposed to a vagina.

Hope my SO never sees this site and comes across this post, our 40+ yr marriage would come to an abrupt end.

Hugs Heather
XXX

Asexual - incapable of sexual arousal

Really?? As far as I know worms are asexual, in other words, they have both sexes and can have sex with themselves.

Missed, we're talking humans here, not worms. Of course, an asexual could be aroused by worms. I don't know how the worms would feel about that.

Have you taken a look at the AVEN site. It's dedicated to the asexual. I thought I might fit into this sexual orientation class, but it was a tight squeeze. Check it out AVEN (Asexual Visibility Education Network):

http://www.asexuality.org/en/

No, worms are not my thing. I'm attracted to women, but can't easily make love to a woman as a man. I have to project a female self-image into the love making encounter to become aroused. So I guess that makes me a 'male lesbian'.

Now where do I find someone who is attracted to a man who fancies himself a woman in the bedroom, takes a submissive role, and longs to be penetrated? I'd be more likely to win the lottery. LOL

CK

Asexual - incapable of sexual arousal

Really?? As far as I know worms are asexual, in other words, they have both sexes and can have sex with themselves.

Missed, we're talking humans here, not worms. Of course, an asexual could be aroused by worms. I don't know how the worms would feel about that.

Have you taken a look at the AVEN site. It's dedicated to the asexual. I thought I might fit into this sexual orientation class, but it was a tight squeeze. Check it out AVEN (Asexual Visibility Education Network):

http://www.asexuality.org/en/

No, worms are not my thing. I'm attracted to women, but can't easily make love to a woman as a man. I have to project a female self-image into the love making encounter to become aroused. So I guess that makes me a 'male lesbian'.

Now where do I find someone who is attracted to a man who fancies himself a woman in the bedroom, takes a submissive role, and longs to be penetrated? I'd be more likely to win the lottery. LOL

CK

I know, I'm just saying that, from what I know, asexuality means that, like worms, you have both sexes and can reproduce with no outside help.

No, never heard of the site, thanks for the link!

Can you imagine yourself AS a woman and, instead of actually having a dick, you're wearing a strap-on?

Have you tried Craig's List?

Can you imagine yourself AS a woman and, instead of actually having a dick, you're wearing a strap-on?

I've not only imagined that but acted it out with my wife a time or two! Definitely puts a different perspective into the act, and I guess I'm lucky enough to have a wife that is very open minded when it comes to intimacy. I think I stated in another post that my wife has expressed interest in sleeping with another woman, so my dressing the part helps her to act out her fantasies as well as mine.

Can you imagine yourself AS a woman and, instead of actually having a dick, you're wearing a strap-on?

You know, Missed, that's an interesting idea. Clara, I'm sure, will be happy to try that on our next break.

It's one of the few good aspects of doing monthly breaks. It gives me a shot at expressing myself in the bedroom. One week out of four doesn't seem very fair though.

My time starts tomorrow. No PM for 7 days! Yay! I plan to gorge myself on Butea Superba, MACA, and L-arginine all week. Maybe a large helping of Cialis, too. I warned my dear wife to watch out!

Clara's other half

You know, Missed, that's an interesting idea. Clara, I'm sure, will be happy to try that on our next break.

It's one of the few good aspects of doing monthly breaks. It gives me a shot at expressing myself in the bedroom. One week out of four doesn't seem very fair though.

My time starts tomorrow. No PM for 7 days! Yay! I plan to gorge myself on Butea Superba, MACA, and L-arginine all week. Maybe a large helping of Cialis, too. I warned my dear wife to watch out!

Clara's other half

I have a feeling I'd dread those breaks, even with a willing sex partner. Just the urge always sickened me. I guess my "male half" just isn't a full half lol.

Oh well, I suppose we all fall on different places of the spectrum.

I think there is a world of difference between sex and making love. I have always been an absolute disaster at 'first times' and I now think it because I am spending all my time gauging responses and trying to please rather than just giving in to my own immediate desires.

As I get older and performance becomes less of a certainty anyway, I now realise that for the most part it doesn't actually matter so very much - there are many ways to skin a cat and it is the intimacy that counts, and specific penetration is not the be all and end all.


Of course - I might be deluding myself and this might all be part of the reason I frequent this site.



It is tricky when one suddenly realises that there are no certainties anymore!!!!!!